TV Guide Fuse Monday

Jr. wins a competition for his cartoon which he entitled "My Wife and Kid", a story based on himself, the baby, Vanessa and the rest of the Kyle family.

Michael prepares his masterpiece sandwich for a plane ride, only to arrive late and then watch his culinary art be dissected by curious security guards.

Two lifelong friends begin a life of crime at a young age in Jamaica, and when they grow older move to Miami, where they begin to take over an empire of crime.

To Rock or Stock? Sneakerheads will do almost anything to get their hands on a unique pair of kicks, going to such extreme lengths as hiding in trash cans

Jay is embarrassed when Michael accompanies her on a yoga retreat and can't seem to follow the rule of keeping silent during the sessions.

Upon arriving at a Paradise Island resort in the Bahamas, Michael announces he just wants to relax but ends up having to avoid an annoying golf buddy.

Michael and Jay find themselves trapped on an island paradise with a rapidly rising tide and a sulking friend who refuses to help them.

Michael decides to remodel the garage so it will be suitable for Jr., Vanessa and the baby but when contractor bids are too high he takes on the job himself.

Michael's horrified that he has become too misshapen to fit into his favorite jeans, which leads him to recruit Darryl's assistance to whip him back into shape.

Jay and Michael decide to remain celibate for six months in order to enhance their love life; Franklin and Kady plant seeds to symbolize their love.

Jr. wins a competition for his cartoon which he entitled "My Wife and Kid", a story based on himself, the baby, Vanessa and the rest of the Kyle family.

Michael prepares his masterpiece sandwich for a plane ride, only to arrive late and then watch his culinary art be dissected by curious security guards.

Lois is away and Hal is busy with a second job; a sly 16-year-old baby sitter outfoxes Malcolm and his brothers, getting them to do what she wants.

Francis is forced to share a room with Otto at the ranch; Malcolm tries to free a friend from his overbearing mother; Hal invites an old pal to the house.

Reese finds many near and dear family treasures to make money off of when he is put in charge of the garage sale; Malcolm tries to sell Craig an old PC.

Hal and Lois fight while drawing up a will to decide where their legacies and children will go, as Hal doesn't believe they can handle such a decision.

Lois and Hal's last getaway before the baby arrives descends into a bitter feud; Reese throws a party at the house that quickly gets out of hand.

Riley begins to feel that he is losing the enhanced strength given to him through an Initiative experiment but fears losing his powers would me losing Buffy.

Tara's birthday celebration is spoiled when her parents arrive to take her home, explaining that a family curse will turn her into a demon once she turns 20.

As the gang gets ready to celebrate Tara's birthday, her family arrives in town, determined to take her back home despite her resistance.

A bizarre interstellar demon takes up temporary lodging in the Summers household in a furtive attempt to siphon the waning life force of Buffy's ailing mother.

Buffy is confronted with a stern ultimatum from Riley after Spike uncovers the soldier's midnight trysts with a sect of vampires in the woods of Sunnyvale.

Jay suspects Michael is attempting to sabotage her special day when everything that can go wrong appears to during her graduation.

Michael convinces Jay that if they sell their business they'll have more time to spend watching Jr. grow up, but the idea goes bust when Bobby arrives.

Michael becomes determined to have his family go on a road trip with him from Connecticut to the Grand Canyon in a recreational vehicle.

Jay starts to insist that Michael have a vasectomy so they can feel free to enjoy themselves now that the kids are almost out of their hair.

Malcolm helps a cynical chess player get a job and find friends in order to ease his fears of turning out just like him; Francis takes up nude modeling.

The family must travel to Las Vegas when Dewey's rabbit does well in a state competition and gets to go to nationals; Malcolm is embarrassed by his parents.

Hal is forced to work for diapers; Malcolm and Reese are lured away by three beautiful girls; Dewey tells Jamie a family fairytale.

Reese spills the beans to Stevie that Abe and Kitty divorced two months ago; Reese reads the diary of a girl who he later finds out was Lois.

Malcolm uses a camera to observe Reese for an Abnormal Psychology mid-term project; Dewey becomes a street performer to earn some extra cash.

Seven women give intimate interviews about their experiences with their orgasms and share a variety of stories and techniques covering many age ranges.

Vogue Willams goes to Europe to get answers to questions regarding the relationship dynamics between sugar daddies and sugar babies.

Weezy is ready to go to Paris to enjoy the nightlife and good food, but when she gets there, she gets to taste more than just French cuisine.

Kuki single-handedly plans a surprise party for Sarab's 65th birthday.

Freedia is busy getting funding for her hotel and starting a new gospel album project while Crystal and Tootie get together to discuss her businesses.

Devon and Crystal decide to voice their concerns about Freedia's gospel album; Tootie wants to be a travel agent; Crystal shares a personal story with Tootie.