Sheldon is elated to help Bernadette and Howard tackle bureaucratic paperwork; Leonard is unhappy when he is excluded from a scientific project by his friends.
Monica wants Chandler to stop his obnoxious fake laugh he uses in response to his boss's unfunny jokes; Ross, upset that Emily re-married, sleeps with Janice.
Claire gets Phil to agree to sell the old family station wagon; Mitchell decides to build a princess castle for Lily; Manny invites a girl over to study.
Phil ends up in jail after he tricks Luke into taking a dance class; Jay and Gloria are concerned that Manny may be aiming too high when it comes to the ladies.
The high school open house is putting the parents on edge when Claire finds the pressure too much for her to handle and Gloria encounters a 'mean girl' mom.
Phil and Claire talk to Haley about her future; Jay's friend Shorty and his wife share some disturbing news; Mitch and Cam try not to discuss their wedding.
SpongeBob cleans out the boating school lighthouse, where he finds a cute companion; no one in Bikini Bottom is safe from a case of contagious hiccups.
Max gets some guidance from a farm dog as he tries to protect a toddler, who is the newest member of his family, and Snowball goes on a dangerous mission.
SpongeBob obtains a magician's wand and causes mayhem; on Friday the 13th, Mr. Krabs' extreme superstitions become a disruption for everyone around him.
Plankton's family opens their own restaurant directly next to the Chum Bucket; SpongeBob suddenly finds everything funny, much to everyone's annoyance.
Mr. Krabs worries that Plankton hasn't tried to steal the secret formula lately; Patrick discovers that SpongeBob's pineapple house has a library of books.
SpongeBob experiences a bad luck streak when his lucky tie clip suddenly goes missing; when Patrick can't fall asleep, he seeks assistance from the Sandman.
When Scissors neglects to take out the trash, a medieval kingdom of living garbage takes over the apartment and Paper tries to make Scissors do his one chore.
Monica and Rachel are tired of their new apartment, so they try to bribe the boys into taking it back; Ross asks Emily to marry him, much to Rachel's chagrin.
The friends head to London for Ross's wedding; Chandler is annoyed when Joey buys a ridiculous hat while touring London; Rachel decides to attend the wedding.
Rachel, distraught over Joey's choice of style, gives him a shoulder bag which he becomes obsessed with; Phoebe meets her father at her grandma's funeral.
Raj publishes a paper that suggests he has stumbled upon alien life; Leonard aspires to become the principal investigator during a study in plasma physics.
Kripke stumbles upon evidence that suggests Dr. Pemberton had plagiarized his college thesis; Howard learns multiple waitresses used to have a crush on him.
Claire and Phil decide to keep an eye on Luke and Manny when they hang with a questionable friend; Gloria and Jay are having a fight over two different things.
Malcolm and Marty consider the possibility that the neighborhood is affecting their dad; when Tina is mistaken for a celebrity, she decides to play along.