Lincoln as David Steele is on the hunt for his stolen birthday present; Luan lands a role in a Dairyland production and must hide this news from Mrs. Bernardo.
Lynn gets drafted into a terrible basketball team at school; Mom and Dad get sick of waiting in a long line for the bathroom, so they build a secret bathroom.
In order to stop Lily from crying, the kids give her an old singing toy that they found on the attic; Dad declares war on all of the kids' electronic devices.
Clyde has an opportunity to study cooking in France; Lola and Lana take on Cheryl and Meryl to be crowned the new twin spokespeople for Auntie Pam's Parlor.
Lincoln convinces his teacher, Mr. Bolhofner, to join the Doo-Dads to get a better seat; Lincoln tries to help Lynn get over a heckler at her soccer game.
Lola and Lana try out for Bluebell Scouts, but one of them might not have what it takes; Lincoln and Clyde follow Bobby around when they suspect he's cheating.
When Ronnie Anne makes friends with Sid, a girl whose family wants to rent the apartment upstairs, the girls sabotage another couple who might get it first.
When a high utility bill threatens Hector and Rosa's annual trip, Ronnie Anne leads an effort to lower usage; Ronnie Anne and Sid find a hidden secret room.
The kids discover Myrtle has a shady past and try to expose her; Lynn and Liam conflict when they're forced to partner up as the middle school hall monitors.
Lincoln's mom signs him up for peewee football, so he tries to get Lynn to take his spot; Lucy reads Lincoln's fortune that says his day will "end in disaster".