Alan fails to bond with Jake over a weekend, so Charlie consoles his brother by taking him out drinking, only for them to wind up drunkenly cursing Evelyn.
Alan's perfectionism forces Berta to quit, and sticks Alan with the role of housekeeper; Charlie is tasked with prepping Jake for a dinner with Judith.
Reluctant Charlie drags himself to one of Jake's soccer games, but he and Alan realize the benefits of attending when they encounter a slew of sexy soccer moms.
Charlie agrees to go on a dinner with Evelyn and her boyfriend, but is aghast to realize that the girl he's been avoiding is the daughter of Evelyn's beau.
Jake draws a picture at school of a butterfly-tattooed-behind that he saw stamped on one of Charlie's lady friends, much to the chagrin of an infuriated Judith.
Charlie is duped into helping with Jake's school musical, but is helped by the popularity of one of his jingles; Judith surprises Alan with divorce papers.
A gritty bouncer takes a job at a small-town bar to help the owner prevent escalating violence, but his success infuriates the local crime boss, who retaliates.
A young hotshot bartender finds success and plenty of women when he teams up with a veteran of the trade, and the two go on to form a wild bartending act.
The father of a young woman, who died during a hectic emergency room shift, accuses the hospital of negligence, and the detectives move in to investigate.
The shooting of two men in a crowded subway initially appears to be a case of self-defense, but further investigation reveals revenge as a possible motive.