TV Guide Cozi TV Wednesday

Dan learns that he has a cyst that needs to be removed and in order to do so he must shave his arm pits, which everyone around him learns about quickly.

Jackie decides to tell on Darlene after spotting her at a motel in the middle of the day and Roseanne feels like she has caught onto Darlene and David.

David informs Roseanne that Darlene is using drugs in hopes of stopping her from going to college and her love, and Roseanne plans to get to the bottom of it.

After being talked to by their loved ones about their friends' sex lives, Dan, Mark and Fred start feeling uncomfortable at what they have found out.

Maxwell adamantly objects to Maggie dating a man who is eight years her senior and orders Fran to put a stop to the relationship; C.C. battles insomnia.

Maxwell threatens to send Brighton to military school if he fails science class; Sylvia develops a mysterious rash that Fran attributes to food poisoning.

Fran is invited to become a regular panelist on "The Rosie O'Donnell Show," where she is responsible for answering viewer inquiries on child rearing.

Fran's Aunt Frieda arrives at the Sheffields' after going broke and being evicted, so Fran tries to get her rich boyfriend to propose and take her in.

Dottie, Auntie Olu and Uncle Tunde eat together for dinner; Bob and Abishola share different perspectives regarding how their relationship is progressing.

Dottie tries to step in after Bob has a falling out with a longtime friend and sock manufacturer over a business deal; Abishola attends a drag brunch.

Jonathan and Mark aid an unenthusiastic young man as he tries to successfully manage one of his father's hotels, but the task proves to be a difficult one.

Mark and Jonathan meet a heartless used car salesman who gets a valuable lesson in the spirit of Christmas that he desperately needed.

Lily is not happy with Herman when he loses his savings, thinking it was because of a bad investment but in reality, Herman gave a loan to Lilys brother.

Herman takes his family out for a camping trip, during which Grandpa hears the howls of the wolves, which reminds him of his youth at the old country.

Marilyn is sent home from college because of a problem with her tuition, which has not been fully paid; Herman goes to the school to speak with the dean.

Herman gets a new Ham radio and picks up two friends of Eddies talking on their walkie talkies; he thinks he discovered that Martians have landed on Earth.

The Crane brothers get a weekend double date with two beautiful women after giving a spontaneous gesture, but Niles can't help feeling that he's betrayed Maris.

Niles' new bird picks the night of his housewarming party to firmly ensconce itself on Niles' head and constantly repeat a quote meant to stay private.

Roz starts volunteering at a retirement home to complete her community service, but she's not welcomed after the people she visits start dying.

Roz's injury leaves the KACL baseball team down a player, so Frederick suggests that his father step up, forcing Frasier to take a crash course.

Roseanne reluctantly goes with Crystal to play bingo, but after winning $50 she gets hooked on the game and leaves Dan and the kids to look after the baby.

Dan and Arnie are on the worst bowling team in the league, but when they start making progress to get out of last place, unexpected competition arises.

Bev comes to the aid of the Conners when Roseanne throws her back out and is bed-ridden, instantly becoming loved by the children as she spoils them all.

Roseanne makes a trip to the doctor after throwing her back out and brings Jackie along, realizing it was a bad decision when Jackie begins flirting with him.

In an effort to prove that he can do Angie's job as well as she can, George decides to takes over the planning of a wedding for one of Angie's rich clients.

George's attempt to rig a productivity contest at the factory comes back to haunt him when he is unable to sleep because of a nightmare about his childhood.

George discovers that his company is relocating to Mexico and that he will soon be out of a job; Angie fears she may be pregnant and awaits test results.

George and Angie look forward to being empty nesters as Carmen prepares to go off to college, but Angie soon discovers that the Lopez family may be growing.

After desperately searching for a new job, Kelly gleefully accepts a position as the weather reporter at a local television station.

When Al is the judge of a beauty contest at the shoe store, he begins having nightmares about feet; Kelly makes Bud and Marcy think they slept together.

Al throws a yard sale to get rid of junk after he discovers Peg's new purchases, but no one seems to be interested in the Bundy's junk.

The Bundy family plans to go on a vacation during Labor Day weekend, but they spend the entire weekend trapped in traffic on a Chicago highway.

To avoid going with Peg and Bud to Wanker County, Al and Kelly pretend to be sick, but Kelly really becomes sick and Al must care for her all week.

Marcy is the witness when, after Al decides they don't need car insurance, Bud gets in a car accident and countersues the other driver.

Carrie searches for items Arthur needs at the hospital before having heart surgery and she discovers her father kept her college acceptance letter.

Carrie worries that Doug will embarrass himself when her boss asks him to testify in a court case as the expert witness; Danny and Spence fight over Holly.

Carrie and Doug argue over getting life insurance in order to care for her father and install an Arthur cam to watch him while he is alone in the basement.

Carrie remembers her wedding day and how she was looking for a sign from God that Doug was right for her; Arthur makes Doug's family to pay for the wedding.

Carrie was planning a romantic weekend for she and Doug, but they end up going to Atlantic City to meet friends who don't even show up, but Doug's boss does.

When the time is perfect to start trying for a baby, Doug's parents come to visit, compromising his and Carrie's privacy; Doug's dad likes the dog walker.

George takes Max to therapy because he suffers from traumatic nightmares following a shooting at his school; George attempts to reconcile with Benny.

George discovers the existence of an unopened letter that was written by Angie ten years before, in which he discovers a shocking secret.

Benny decides to get outrageously large breast implants in order to make herself appear younger and avoid her son's insulting remarks about her age.

While attempting to give advice to an engaged couple, George and Angie become entrenched in an argument over which of them contributes more to the relationship.

David is forced to stay with D.J. after the basement becomes flooded, and his irritating habits quickly begin to annoy him as his stay lengthens.

Leon hosts a large Halloween party inviting the Lunch Box gang and a group of his gay friends; Jackie and Roseanne decide their hairdresser wears a wig.

David becomes jealous of the fact that Darlene has decided to move in with her new boyfriend Jimmy, leading him to make sure that it doesn't happen.

Roseanne and Jackie visit Darlene's new boyfriend, and when they find out something upon arriving, they are left to decide what they should do.

Maxwell accidentally runs into his estranged father after not having seen him since he abandoned the family for his secretary; Brighton attends ballet classes.

Fran is audited by the IRS and appeals the $5000 bill they issue her; Maxwell tries to reconnect with Brighton; Jay Leno asks the Sheffields to watch his dog.

When Maxwell's younger brother arrives from Paris, Fran is charged with showing him around the town, leading to a blossoming romance between the two.

When Maggie announces she wants a tattoo, it is revealed that Fran already has one of her own, a fact that intrigues Maxwell and disgusts a disapproving Sylvia.

Abishola plans to invite Bob to go to church with her as it is an important part of her life; Kemi triggers a fight with Ogechi over Chukwuemeka.

Bob struggles to keep his opinionated family in line as he preps for a delivery; Kemi's new personality manifests when her successful lawyer son visits.