Unable to decide where to go on vacation, Carrie loses on Paris and Doug wins to go cross-country in a motor home; Carrie fires back by inviting Arthur along.
Carrie gets turned on when Doug imitates the accent of the sexy foreign guy at work, then Doug becomes jealous and thinks plain old Doug doesn't do it for her.
Jerry becomes smitten over a line judge at the U.S. open, but after finally getting her attention, he discovers that she is deaf; Kramer becomes a ball boy.
When they begin to gain weight, Jerry and Elaine suspect that Kramer has made a bad investment in a non-fat yogurt shop; Jerry accidentally says the "F" word.
Jerry is reluctant to dump his old barber even when he is given a really bad haircut; Newman is charged by Jerry's barber to get a sample of Jerry's hair.
Jerry is frustrated when he can't get his girlfriend, who's a masseuse, to give him a massage; Elaine's new boyfriend shares the same name as a serial killer.
New Christine loses her inhibitions when Old Christine and Barb throw her an impromptu bachelorette party in Las Vegas; Richard plays laser tag for his party.
After Matthew and Barb move out and Ritchie leaves for science camp, Christine must prove to everyone, including herself, that she can make it on her own.
Christine attacks Richard's parenting skills after Ritchie skins his knee at a skateboarding party, but she soon finds that her own methods aren't any better.
After getting hired at the local market, Opie decides that Billy could use the job more than he could and decides to come up with a plan to get himself fired.
Hawkeye decides to write a detailed letter to United States President Truman about the war; Colonel Ditka wants the staff at the 4077th to beautify the area.
Matt joins another bounty hunter on the hunt for a wild wolf that has been attacking citizens in town, but Matt's old friend vehemently opposes the killing.
A couple of bounty hunters threaten a wanted man despite his assertions of innocence, so Newly tries to prove the wanted man's innocence while Matt is away.
Kitty tries to help a man deal with his cruel mother and become more involved in his daughter's life after she helps him escape from stagecoach robbers.
Matt asks for help from his old girlfriend who has information about a dangerous man who is on the loose, but his involvement with her makes Kitty jealous.
Barney believes that he is jinxed when he has several accidents after discarding a "lucky" chain letter, and believes his misfortune will lead to being fired.
When offered a job that would take him to South America, Andy persuades Barney to run for sheriff, but the election gets ugly when the offer falls through.
When Ally is invited to a formal birthday party, Ray is reluctant to pay for an expensive dress, especially since it's hosted by his old nemesis Peggy.
When Robert begins selling home security systems, he contemplates retirement, but Amy questions whether this is what he really wants, or what Marie wants.
While attempting to complete a puzzle, Ray and Pat, Amy's mother, have a long discussion and become friends, when everyone else finds out, they become jealous.
Ray is flummoxed after learning a modeling agency has scheduled a photography session with Robert, and both are surprised when the modeling agency vanishes.
Carrie forces Doug to give a card to his boss for twenty years of service and Doug's boss is so impressed that he wants Doug to roast him at a banquet.
Doug becomes outraged when he finds out Carrie has been buying his clothes at the "Big and Tall" shop, but soon realizes he may have a problem with his weight.
Still on strike, Doug picks up a job as a substitute teacher at his sister's school, and thinks it will be a breeze, until the students wreak havoc on him.
Out of work due to a strike, a bored Doug and Deacon start playing practical jokes on people and Arthur joins in, but is left alone when the strike's over.
A Native American woman thinks Jerry is racially insensitive when he presents Elaine with a cigar-store Indian as a peace offering; George gets grounded.
The gang struggles to find gifts for a dinner party; Jerry and Elaine have trouble at a bakery when they lose their number; George shows off a fluffy coat.
Christine finally gives up on Ritchie's snobby private school after she is blamed for a lice outbreak, but she runs into trouble enrolling him in public school.
Christine tries to use the knowledge she has gained as a gym owner to help Matthew lose weight, but she finds she is unable to shed extra pounds herself.
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