TV Guide TV Land Monday

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00:00
George's dreams of personal time are shattered when he is roped into heading a foundation for the memory of Susan; Kramer spars with children in Karate class.
00:30
Kramer finds a soul mate, who unfortunately is also Jerry's latest girlfriend; Elaine's new boyfriend gets a vasectomy to prove how much he doesn't want kids.
01:00
Elaine hangs out with Kevin and his friends, who are strangely similar to Jerry and company; Jerry dates a girl with man hands; Kramer takes care of business.
01:30
Elaine embarrasses herself at a company party by dancing horribly; George plays a bad seed to attract a girl; Jerry gets caught up in bootlegging movies.
02:00
Since being labeled a difficult patient, Elaine cannot find a doctor who will treat her rash; Jerry receives a suspicious package in the mail.
02:30
Intimidated by an employee she is supposed to fire, Elaine promotes him instead; Jerry's girlfriend has a mentor; George gives a seminar on risk management.
03:00
Jerry receives a barrage of royalty checks from Japan; Kramer escorts Japanese tourists around New York; George is obsessed with a cultish carpet cabal.
03:30
Kramer and Jerry switch apartments when a new chicken restaurant puts up a neon sign outside Kramer's apartment; Elaine abuses her company expense account.
04:00
George gets sharper the longer he goes without having sex; Elaine's lack of sex dulls her mind considerably; Jerry gets bumped from Career Night.
04:30
George is muscled out of a new apartment when a survivor of a shipwreck plays the pity card with the tenant board; Kramer takes dog medicine for a nasty cough.
05:00
Kramer gets a rooster as a pet and begins training him for cockfighting; George dates a convict from a woman's prison; Jerry regrets writing a bad check.
05:30
George grows suspicious that his parents are sitting on a large sum of money; Kramer tries to cope with his girlfriend's after-sex bed habit.
06:00
Christine finally gives up on Ritchie's snobby private school after she is blamed for a lice outbreak, but she runs into trouble enrolling him in public school.
06:30
Christine tries to use the knowledge she has gained as a gym owner to help Matthew lose weight, but she finds she is unable to shed extra pounds herself.
07:00
With humor, optimism and special guests, host Drew Barrymore explores pop culture, human interest, lifestyle and more while celebrating every part of humanity.
07:30
With humor, optimism and special guests, host Drew Barrymore explores pop culture, human interest, lifestyle and more while celebrating every part of humanity.
08:00
The Taylor household is transformed into a staging ground for the preservation of international diplomacy when Barney becomes the host of a summit meeting.
08:30
Goober attends an auto show and begins second guessing himself after he runs into an old acquaintance who brags about his success and wealth.
09:00
Aunt Bee makes the interesting decision that she yearns to fly, and in an attempt to prove that she can be an exciting person, she learns how to.
09:30
Helen's past crawls out of the dark when her arrest record soon comes to the bright surface, placing her teaching career in jeopardy.
10:00
Hawkeye and B.J. go on a bathing strike in an attempt to halt Charles' incessant horn playing; Col. Potter encounters a suicidal patient.
10:30
The local jewelry dealer is commissioned to make a special surgical clamp that the surgeons use to save the leg of a wounded soldier.
11:00
Father Mulcahy and Klinger are shot at while trying to get penicillin from black marketers after the 4077 looses its supply to thieves.
11:30
Wounded soldiers pour into the 4077 and Radar becomes a disc jockey to help everyone get through the long hours of surgery.
12:00
After Matt is forced to shoot a fugitive in the line of duty, a judge abuses his power by giving Matt a life sentence of hard labor in the local silver mine.
13:00
When a preacher wants to build a church for everyone to share, prejudices rear their heads and Festus finds himself caught in the middle.
14:00
Two bronco busters work to build their own ranch by raising money in Montana but encounter problems when one of them is severely injured.
15:00
Because of a traumatic childhood experience, a boy of Basque ancestry refuses to fight his father to complete his rite of passage into manhood.
16:00
After Matt is forced to kill the prisoner who had once saved his life, he is so devastated by the incident that he decides to give up his job the local marshal.
17:00
Believing a crime is about to be committed, Barney tails the man he thinks is the thief, but he is actually the detective, and Barney winds up with the crook.
17:30
Convinced that she is the reason Andy isn't getting married, Aunt Bee invents a serious beau and is forced to grab Fred Gross, the Mayberry dry cleaner.

Monday Night TV on TV Land

18:00
Andy's attempts to be alone with Mary Simpson are thwarted by Barney's presence and Barney tells everyone that Mary Simpson and Andy are getting married.
18:30
A barber from Raleigh gives Floyd the chance to be the proprietor of a two-chair shop, but it turns out that he is actually a bookie trying to avoid the heat.
19:00
A news tycoon swears revenge on the sheriff after being arrested in Mayberry and enlists an investigative reporter to dig up dirt on Andy.
19:30
Barney sticks his neck out for his visiting dim-witted cousin, but becomes enraged with his cousin continues to make stupid mistakes.
20:00
Debra and Raymond vow to be nicer to each other when they realize that they treat complete strangers more politely than they do each other.
20:30
Raymond becomes jealous when Robert takes his wife swing dancing and they make a hobby out of it.
21:00
Robert is unable to get any time alone with his girlfriend, so he moves back in with Raymond, which fails to solve his problem.
21:30
Ally busily prepares to get ready for her very first play date with a boy, and flashbacks help to reveal how Raymond and Debra first courted each other.
22:00
When Ray is excited about a woman's breast implants, Debra decides to conduct some tests to find out if he is satisfied with her.
22:30
When Raymond and Debra get into a fight over the new can opener each tells their side of the story to the other family members, causing family warfare to erupt.
23:00
Raymond is alarmed to discover that Frank is only interested in his work for the betting information that he supplies to him.
23:30
Raymond and Debra are distressed over their weak sex life, and when they go to his parents for advice, they get really depressed.
00:00
While Doug and the guys secretly rent an apartment above their favorite restaurant, Carrie struggles to keep actress Kirstie Alley happy.
00:30
Arthur brings a bug infestation into the home, leading Carrie and Doug to move out while the slightly creepy exterminator does his work.
01:00
Carrie accidentally pushes Doug down the stairs, and he attempts to get revenge against her by milking his injury and making her care for him.
01:30
Doug and Carrie stage a robbery inside their home in order to free themselves of an awkward anniversary present from Deacon and Kelly.
02:00
Doug tries to convince Carrie to sell her hair to a wig-maker to raise money for their cruise, but finds himself disappointed with the results.
02:30
When Doug learns that Carrie is disappointed with his lack of ambition, he feigns a mid-life crisis in order to take a much-anticipated rollercoaster ride.
03:00
George struggles to invent the ultimate comeback to a quip made by one of his sarcastic co-workers; Elaine falls for a mysterious video rental clerk.
03:30
While interviewing candidates for The Susan Ross Scholarship, George runs into trouble with a street gang; Peterman decides to buy Kramer's life stories.
04:00
Elaine adopts an alter ego when a co-worker mistakes her for someone named Susie; George and Kramer make a big entrance at Steinbrenner's Ball.
04:30
George embarks on a hectic quest to dig his keys out of a pothole in the road; Jerry accidentally drops his girlfriend's toothbrush in the toilet.
05:00
Bev drops a huge surprise on the four generations of the Conner family that have gathered together to enjoy a Thanksgiving dinner.
05:30
Jackie has to make a trip to Topeka and wants Roseanne to come along so they can visit their father's mistress that they haven't seen in a long time.
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