TV Guide TV Land Monday

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00:00
Kramer's neighborly effort to provide pictures of all the tenants in the building annoys Jerry when he has to kiss everyone hello; Uncle Leo's scam is exposed.
00:30
Jerry is inconvenienced by a tenacious doorman at an apartment building; Kramer robs George on the street to put on a show for a group of German tourists.
01:00
Elaine dates a man whose habit of speaking in third person causes a wide array of confusion; George is blamed for the theft of Yankees' sports equipment.
01:30
George has mixed feelings when he finds an unflattering doodle his girlfriend drew of him; Kramer braves Jerry's apartment while it is being fumigated.
02:00
Frank has an unfortunate accident involving one of Kramer's pasta sculptures; Kramer gets the wrong license plates in the mail; Estelle gets an eye job.
02:30
Jerry's simple airport meeting turns into a nightmare thanks to his incompetent agent; Kramer gets into hot water when he gambles with a rich Texan.
03:00
Elaine dates a seemingly normal guy until she discovers that he is a face-painting fanatic; Kramer does battle with a particularly assertive monkey at the zoo.
03:30
George and Jerry are suspected of purposely injuring Bette Midler during a softball game; Kramer nurses Bette Midler back to health; Elaine gets a new job.
04:00
Jerry introduces a retrospective program that offers many highlights from the first 99 episodes of TV's popular "show about nothing".
04:30
The retrospective continues as Jerry and his friends go about their days accomplishing nothing and nitpicking everything they encounter.
05:00
Christine is afraid that being reckless during an evening out could have ruined a possible relationship with Ritchie's teacher, Mr. Harris.
05:30
Christine gets cold feet about consummating with her new boyfriend, Mr. Harris; Matthew rethinks med school due to his assigned cadaver.
06:00
The Drew Crew team shares their best pro tips; Drew Crewer Amirah Kassem sharing how to make the perfect party dish and easy ways to level up hosting.
06:30
Mikel Welch telling Drew and Ross his best reno-free design hacks and Pilar Valdes sharing her favorite pro tips when dining in Chinatown.
07:00
Helen's past crawls out of the dark when her arrest record soon comes to the bright surface, placing her teaching career in jeopardy.
07:30
Emmett contemplates and soon considers buying a nice, expensive gift for his wife, who he feels deserves it, for their 25th wedding anniversary.
08:00
Howard's mother decides to get married and move to Mt. Pilot; Howard is so glad to have the house to himself that he redecorates everything.
08:30
Sam and Emmett are forced to engage in a fierce bout of campaigning after the retirement of a prominent politician leaves an empty seat on the city council.
09:00
Hawkeye wins fame in the press by treating a celebrity prizefighter named Joe Cavanaugh; Father Mulcahy takes the news of Joe's stroke badly.
09:30
Hawkeye nervously awaits word on his father's crucial operation back in the states, while his cohorts decide to engage some Marines in a bowling tournament.
10:00
Potter attempts to assemble the crew for a family portrait; Margaret, Klinger and Mulcahy try to bring the Swampmen back together.
10:30
Klinger buys a goat in hopes of getting rich by selling milk, but the goat escapes and winds up eating $22,000 from the 4077th's payroll.
11:00
After an elderly Chinese man was wounded during an attempt to murder Matt, the hired killer begins to reconsider his dedication to his mission to kill Matt.
12:00
After being lent money from Matt and Festus, a poor farmer is conned out of it in a game of poker and is set up for the gambler's murder.
13:00
After being in prison for eight years, a farmer comes back to his home with hopes of locating the treasure he buried under a tree.
14:00
The Dodge City well is in danger of drying up during a long drought, so Festus goes on a search for other water sources while Matt locates a rainmaker.
15:00
When a stagecoach filled with gold comes under siege from a vicious gang, Doc Adams has to protect it along with a blind man and a pregnant woman.
16:00
A widower lives a quiet life in a small southern town with his aunt and young son, implementing his wise advice in his own life and offering it to others.
16:30
A widower lives a quiet life in a small southern town with his aunt and young son, implementing his wise advice in his own life and offering it to others.
17:00
A widower lives a quiet life in a small southern town with his aunt and young son, implementing his wise advice in his own life and offering it to others.
17:30
A widower lives a quiet life in a small southern town with his aunt and young son, implementing his wise advice in his own life and offering it to others.

Monday Night TV on TV Land

18:00
A widower lives a quiet life in a small southern town with his aunt and young son, implementing his wise advice in his own life and offering it to others.
18:30
A widower lives a quiet life in a small southern town with his aunt and young son, implementing his wise advice in his own life and offering it to others.
19:00
When Frank is found to be an unsafe driver, Debra doesn't want the kids riding with him; Raymond begins to worry that his parents are getting older.
19:30
When Raymond and Debra hire a sitter, Marie is insulted; when the kids prefer the sitter to Debra, she has to go, but Marie can't handle the job.
20:00
After Raymond embarrasses her at an auction, Debra decides to get even with him but doesn't say how or when, driving him crazy.
20:30
When Debra's mother comes to visit, Debra finds that she wishes she took more of an interest in her, and even prefers Marie.
21:00
Robert decides to move out of his parents' house, but Debra misses him, and he finds that he hasn't really made that big of a change.
21:30
Raymond becomes jealous when one of his rivals gets an article published in Sports Illustrated, but is pleased when he learns that it is heavily rewritten.
22:00
Raymond and Robert have a discussion about the pros and cons of marriage, and when Robert and Amy break up, everyone puts the blame on Ray.
22:30
Ray becomes jealous of Robert when he finds that he has a swinging bachelor pad; Frank turns Robert's old room into a lounge.
23:00
Carrie was planning a romantic weekend for she and Doug, but they end up going to Atlantic City to meet friends who don't even show up, but Doug's boss does.
23:30
Doug's enjoying hanging out with the singles in the clubs while he is trying to get Deacon back in the swing of things after his separation.
00:00
Doug and Carrie find a check for $1,500 that was never cashed in an old wedding present and ask the people to re-write the check so they can vacation.
00:30
When Doug and Carrie get free tickets to her firm's golf tournament, they invite Deacon and he invites a woman that Carrie doesn't exactly click with.
01:00
After Doug's uncle offers him the money, he thinks about starting his own sandwich shop, but Carrie is not so sure of Doug's ability to run a business.
01:30
Doug relives his youth while his parents are visiting and Carrie is out of town, then fails a test at work and is demoted to "truck loader".
02:00
After forming a pact with Jerry to reevaluate their relationships with women, George asks Susan to marry him; Elaine, Kramer and Newman kidnap a noisy dog.
02:30
George gets cold feet and tries everything he can to postpone the engagement; Elaine is jealous of George's engagement; Kramer spills hot coffee on himself.
03:00
Elaine's latest boyfriend likes to be known as "The Maestro"; Kramer reaches an unsatisfactory settlement with the coffee company, much to his lawyers chagrin.
03:30
George develops an involuntary wink that leads to a series of misunderstandings; Kramer gets in hot water when he can't deliver on a promise to a sick child.
04:00
Dan gets news from his doctor that his food consumption is very unhealthy and that he should go on a diet to avoid another heart attack in the future.
04:30
Roseanne is called in to Darlene's school & learns that she randomly barks when she is at school. Roseanne tries to figure out why. Dan Agrue Responsibility.
05:00
Dan brings home some extra cash from his work which causes the rest of the family to begin considering the ways that they would spend the cash.
05:30
Roseanne plans a getaway at the Landford Inn to spend some alone time with Dan, and despite his reluctance at first, he decides to go along with her.
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