TV Guide TV Land Saturday

Carrie is excited to attend her company's retreat but Doug is dreading it and in a fit of boredom he lies to Carrie's boss and tells him he has climbed Everest.

After Arthur smashes Doug's pumpkin and forbids Halloween, an angry Doug decides to go overboard with decorations, causing Arthur to have a heart attack.

Carrie searches for items Arthur needs at the hospital before having heart surgery and she discovers her father kept her college acceptance letter.

Carrie and Doug argue over getting life insurance in order to care for her father and install an Arthur cam to watch him while he is alone in the basement.

A girlfriend poses as Jerry's wife so she can get a dry cleaning discount; George attempts to use the shower at the health club as a bathroom.

Kramer makes a new deal with Jerry's father to sell beltless raincoats to a secondhand clothing shop; Elaine's latest boyfriend talks strangely.

Jerry and his latest girlfriend finally get alone time when they go on a date to see "Schindler's List," where Newman oversees them making out.

George panics when there is a false fire alarm at a kid's birthday party, abandoning everyone in his escape; Jerry gets revenge on a heckler.

When Ritchie begins asking endless questions about his newfound interest in religion after Richard and New Christine take him to a church festival.

When Barb announces that she and Pete are divorcing, Christine agrees to let her move in and tries to be supportive; Matthew is forced to move in with Richie.

After admitting her attraction to Stan, Christine feels guilt from Marly and Lindsay into serving lunch at Ritchie's school and finds herself serving with Stan.

Ritchie gets to go on a playdate with his fourth grade teacher Mr. Harris after Christine wins a raffle; Richard's father-son plans could spoil the fun.

Roseanne grabs Dan for a night out on the town before the baby is born and she has trouble resisting the temptation to crash a bar mitzvah.

The Conners take a trip back to the 1950s, living the life of the sitcoms wherein Roseanne is the always happy housewife and Dan is the workhorse husband.

Roseanne and Jackie have a crazy shopping trip with the baby after they offer a ride to a rebellious teen, then force a trucker off the road.

D.J.'s teacher decides to give his students free reign for the upcoming Thanksgiving pageant which begins to upset some of their parents about the idea.

Dan's old band visits Lanford to play, but when Dan thinks the band will let him back in to play this show, he is denied and becomes upset over the issue.

While Roseanne creates a video time capsule, Becky and Darlene find some old love letters and D.J. is upset to learn that his baby book was never done.

Leon finally exchanges vows with longtime lover Scott during the Christmas holidays, but Roseanne's free wedding planning results in a circus.

Roseanne and Jackie decide to take up jobs at the local supermarket demonstrating new products, but their sibling rivalry gets the better of them both.

The Conner family receives some inheritance from their recently passed Aunt Harriet, so they decide to go out for a nice dinner until Darlene shows up.

Becky is still feeling depressed as Mark plans a surprise get-together with their friends and family, but it still has no effect on her and her aspirations.

When Nana Mary visits Roseanne and Jackie with a box of their childhood belongings in tow, the contents lead to a huge argument between the sisters.

Dan is given an offer by his old crew that leaves him confused on what to do since his current job is steady, but he could make a lot of money with this offer.

The family becomes elated when Dan brings home his final check from the Lanford City Garage and announces they are going to Disney World for their vacation.

The Conners arrive at Disney World for their vacation that everyone is excited about except for Darlene, who just wants to sit there until it is time to go.

After coming back home from Disney World, David is motivated to find work at an amusement park and decides to move out when he finds a job at one.

Darlene shocks both the family and David when she proposes to him, but he gets another surprise announcement when she informs him that she is pregnant.

Roseanne is at the diner when she is asked to be a news commentator on a morning television talk show and brings along Jackie to be her manager.

Bev has quickly become attracted to her new ballroom dance instructor, but becomes infuriated with him when he begins flirting with the divorced Jackie.

Emotions consume Roseanne and Dan as they prepare for Darlene and David to wed, but the ceremony is interrupted by a life-threatening situation.

Roseanne tries to do everything in her power to make sure things go smoothly in the hospital after Dan suffers a heart attack at Darlene's wedding.

The gang takes a trip to the Hamptons for a weekend; George is upset when he finds his girlfriend enjoys topless sunbathing; Kramer steals lobsters.

George's life turns around when he adopts a new opposite philosophy; Kramer appears on "Regis and Kathy Lee" to promote his new coffee table book.

Jerry gets a date with a Miss America contestant, only to be foiled by Kramer, who acts as a chaperone; Elaine gets a job as Mr. Pitt's personal secretary.

George gets upset when his girlfriend is thanked for a dinner he bought; Jerry becomes obsessed when he finds that his current girlfriend once dated Newman.

In an effort to please his new girlfriend, Jerry agrees to host a pledge drive for PBS; George is convinced that a waitress keeps giving him the finger.

Jerry feels misled when his mysterious Chinese date ends up not being Chinese; Elaine ruins her friend's latest relationship with a man who likes to talk.

Jerry's new couch is ruined when Elaine upsets a man with a bladder condition; Kramer starts up his new pizza business; George joins a book club.

Jerry's excitement about dating a gymnast diminishes after bad sex; George's girlfriend catches him eating out of the trash; Kramer passes a kidney stone.

Jerry accepts an Armani suit from Kenny Bania, provided that he will treat him to a meal; Elaine dates a bouncer from England; Kramer decides to eat fresh.

George buys a convertible once owned by Jon Voight; Kramer tries to save a small shoe-repair business; Elaine wins tickets to a parade for Mr. Pitt.

George passes up hiring a beautiful secretary for an ordinary woman, in the hopes of less distraction; Jerry catches his dry cleaner wearing his clothes.

Jerry attempts an impossible switch when he finds that he likes his girlfriend's roommate more than her; George is convinced that his new girlfriend is bulimic.

Carrie remembers her wedding day and how she was looking for a sign from God that Doug was right for her; Arthur makes Doug's family to pay for the wedding.

Carrie is hurt that Doug thinks of himself first when their plane makes an extremely rough landing and he takes the only available oxygen mask for himself.

Carrie worries that Doug will embarrass himself when her boss asks him to testify in a court case as the expert witness; Danny and Spence fight over Holly.

Doug takes an interest in Spence's new chef girlfriend and becomes addicted to her food and Carrie gets jealous and demands he stop the food affair.

Christine receives a notice from Ritchie's private school that his tuition is going to rise and decides that some expenses are going to have to be cut.

Ritchie does a horrible job on an assignment for his snobbish school, which will be put on display, and Christine makes Richard responsible for the monstrosity.

After Barb starts working at the women's gym, which Christine owns, the two don't see eye to eye on how to run things; Matthew helps find a sitter.

After Christine's hybrid and Marly's SUV collide in the parking lot, Christine is forced to go against her principles and rent a luxury SUV.

Christine signs up Ritchie for a soccer team due to a comment that came from Mr. Harris concerning Ritchie's inability to make friends.

Richard attempts to get Ritchie's interest in his career; Christine, being a helpful sister, tries to re-ignite the relationship between Matthew and his ex.

New Christine is reaping benefits of the good boyfriend which Christine claims credit for having molded Richard into during their marriage.

After Christine tries out a few new sleeping pills, she awakes to discover some embarrassing phone calls had been made in her sleep.

Richard's unbelievably attractive brother Joe stops by for a visit and has some surprising news, news that Christine discovers after she sleeps with him.

Christine shows no interest in an upcoming election, and Richard scolds her for not setting a good example as a non-voter for Ritchie.