TV Guide TV Land Thursday

Doug strikes up a friendship with a driver from a rival company at the cost of his coworkers' respect, only to find that he has been lured into a trap.

Carrie is ready to put Arthur in a retirement home after he sets the basement on fire, but Doug makes a discovery that forces him to reconsider.

While buying some ice cream from the ice cream man, Doug notices a "for sale" sign and buys the truck, and in turn, gets harassed by another ice cream man.

George becomes upset when Susan's cousin names her baby with the name he planned to use for his first child; Jerry questions his girlfriend's style.

Jerry purchases a new Cadillac for his parents; George questions his relationship with Susan after Elaine's friend sets him up with actress Marisa Tomei.

The retirement community impeaches Morty over the new Cadillac that Jerry bought him; George bombs with Marissa Tomei after revealing his engagement.

New low-flow shower heads drive Jerry, Kramer and Newman to seek an illicit street vendor; Elaine tests positive for Opium before her big Africa trip.

Believing Christine is judgmental and snobbish, a new father at Ritchie's school calls her a "meanie mom" before leaving her in favor of Marly and Lindsay.

After promising Daniel that she will accompany him to an important event, Christine disappoints him when Ritchie's soccer game runs long.

Christine tries her best to get over her breakup with Mr. Harris; after going to therapy, Matthew learns his relationship with Christine is unhealthy.

With humor, optimism and special guests, host Drew Barrymore explores pop culture, human interest, lifestyle and more while celebrating every part of humanity.

With humor, optimism and special guests, host Drew Barrymore explores pop culture, human interest, lifestyle and more while celebrating every part of humanity.

Aunt Bee receives her driving permit and backs into a tree after breaking a promise to Andy to not drive without a licensed driver with her when she drives.

Andy and Helen put Opie at ease when they dance after seeing that Opie is nervous about the school dance and worried about making a fool of himself.

Andy is forced to order a band of gypsies out of town when they take advantage of the townspeople and create a hoax to end a drought.

Andy must find a way to make the beautiful new waitress, Flora, fancy Goober rather than himself because he is already in a relationship.

Charles returns from R&R in Tokyo with an uneasy feeling and a huge hangover, as the medical staff of the 4077 struggles to find a cure for hemorrhagic fever.

Hawkeye and B.J. unwillingly capture a peculiar North Korean soldier while on a mission to get urgently needed antibiotics to the 4077th.

A dying soldier could provide the aorta that would be used to save the life of a badly wounded man who must have the surgery within 20 minutes.

After an egotistical drifter is badly beaten during a poker game, he aims to mend his wounded pride by getting back at the rancher who defeated him so badly.

A reclusive and lonely widow nurses a man back to health after he is apparently robbed, but the victim cannot remember anything about his past.

After Festus is arrested and forced to stand trial as a notorious murderer, Matt is determined to prove that his good-natured deputy is innocent of the charges.

After being controlled by her domineering father her entire life, a rebellious young woman decides to marry a man that her father doesn't approve of.

When desperate parents ask a traveling faith healer to treat their terminally ill son, Doc Adams tries to convince everyone that the healer is a charlatan.

Everyone in Mayberry goes wild when a Hollywood film crew decides to use Mayberry as the setting for a movie because of the town's unique charm.

Andy stretches the truth a little too close to snapping when trying to sell the old town cannon after he gave Opie the opposite advice.

Aunt Bee, fed up with Andy's ridiculing of women's obsession with gossiping, pulls a prank on him to prove men are completely capable of gossiping as well.

Andy faces a dilemma when he is chosen as the judge for the beauty pageant, whose contestants include Floyd's niece, the mayor's daughter and Ellie Walker.

Andy and Barney get smashed and are shocked when the trail they have been following places them face-to-face with two spinster sisters.

Feeling like a cad when he arrives at the Super Bowl game without his wife, Ray flies Debra in, but tears up his tickets to prove he just wants to be with her.

Ray is shocked to learn that Marie not only has read his childhood journal, but that she also deciphered his secret code.

Raymond and Debra are both disturbed to discover that they have nothing to talk about other than the daily lives of their children.

Raymond has grave concerns about his sons' roles in an upcoming play after Debra allows them to be cast as a pair of well-dressed fairies.

When Robert's gorgeous Italian girlfriend arrives in America, he learns that she isn't quite as charming as he first thought.

Raymond purchases a vacuum cleaner from a physically attractive saleswoman and both his wife and mother end up engaging in a housekeeping war.

Embarrassed to discover a canister of Marie's that she claimed to have returned, Debra hatches a scheme to dispose of the evidence.

An obsessed woman who swears that she spent a romantic weekend with Doug keeps calling the house, and Doug tries everything to get her to stop.

When O'Boyle checks into rehab, Doug and Deacon are asked to fill in; however, Doug thinks that he may not be right for the job once the office loses control.

Deacon changes the ending of a story, leaving him too scared to spend the weekend with the Heffermans; Arthur figures out a way to make money in carpooling.

Doug makes an appearance at a neighborhood party to which he and Carrie were not invited, and to prove that they are good people, he adopts a dog.

Doug has Deacon's son draw a stick figure of Carrie in hopes that it will make her want to purchase an enhancement that the two of them could benefit from.

George is terrorized by one of Susan's dolls that looks exactly like his mother; Jerry is greatly inconvenienced by Susan's old college roommate.

Chaos ensues when Jerry loses an expensive jacket during his probationary membership to a private club; Kramer tries to alter his sleeping patterns.

George fights the management of a local parking lot; Jerry returns his new jacket to spite the salesman who sold it to him; Kramer is mistaken for a pimp.

George surges upward in the Yankee organization when Steinbrenner gets hooked on Calzones; Kramer becomes addicted to drying his laundry in the oven.

After reluctantly agreeing to let New Christine set her up on a blind date, Christine is surprised when she learns that he is considerably younger than her.

After learning that Richard and New Christine have recently purchased the home she always dreamed of owning, Christine tries to conceal her jealousy.

Christine tries to prove to Barb that she isn't a square as the return of Tom, a friend of Richard's who she once dated, presents her with another complication.