TV Guide TV Land Wednesday

Carrie and Doug make a $500 donation to Deacon's son's school, but when there is a mixup with the donation amount, they try to keep the good recognition.

Doug takes $100 from the "emergency funds jar" to make a bet and when he wins $5,000, he can't let Carrie find out so he sets out to spend it all one day.

Doug thinks his new dentist, who used to have crush on Carrie, is inflicting pain on him for marrying her; Arthur is forced to see a psychotherapist.

Doug and Carrie decide to put an end to Carrie and Arthur's constant fights and send Arthur to a psychotherapist, but maybe it's not Arthur who needs therapy.

Kramer gets a new hot tub from a close friend; Elaine is stressed over housing a famous marathon runner; George gets rowdy with clients from out of town.

Elaine struggles with an eccentric soup artist, who refuses her business; Kramer is accosted by two street toughs; Jerry baby talks with his girlfriend.

George becomes obsessed with trying to keep his ATM code a secret; Kramer strives to enlighten the fire department with his list of shortcuts.

Jerry avoids awkward attempts at a friendship with his Pool Guy; George is worried that his worlds will collide when Elaine starts hanging out with Susan.

Dan has grown tired of Jackie's constant bickering about everything he wants her to do and is brought past the tipping point when she comments on his chili.

Dan learns of a country song writing contest on a local radio station and realizes that the poem Roseanne recently wrote may be the perfect fit to win.

The Conners head to the bowling alley for their Friday night festivities when Becky notices a boy there that she likes but must avoid getting embarrassed.

Dan hires a photographer to come take a family portrait for his high school reunion, but tempers flare when Jackie says Dan cheated on Roseanne long ago.

With humor, optimism and special guests, host Drew Barrymore explores pop culture, human interest, lifestyle and more while celebrating every part of humanity.

With humor, optimism and special guests, host Drew Barrymore explores pop culture, human interest, lifestyle and more while celebrating every part of humanity.

A widower lives a quiet life in a small southern town with his aunt and young son, implementing his wise advice in his own life and offering it to others.

A widower lives a quiet life in a small southern town with his aunt and young son, implementing his wise advice in his own life and offering it to others.

A widower lives a quiet life in a small southern town with his aunt and young son, implementing his wise advice in his own life and offering it to others.

A widower lives a quiet life in a small southern town with his aunt and young son, implementing his wise advice in his own life and offering it to others.

Hoping to save himself some embarrassment, Hawkeye raises his guard when B.J. plans to pull off the most elaborate prank the compound has ever seen.

Hawkeye has a difficult time presenting a eulogy for a dead nurse he briefly dated who cared about him and the crew more than they knew.

Hawkeye and Charles start a rumor that Marilyn Monroe is going to visit the compound; B.J. agonizes when he fails to rescue a wounded soldier from danger.

When Matt transports a prisoner in the company of a cattle drive, he faces assaults from the prisoner and a plot by one of the cowboys to free the captive.

While in the town of Bucklin, Festus is accused of being a hit man and is confronted by his supposed victims's sons, who try to run him out of town.

A criminal travels to Dodge City to kill Matt before robbing the bank, but he is distracted when he becomes smitten with one of the women in the saloon.

The lawmen of Dodge City are on a hunt for a criminal, and they are surprised to one day find the man's son has wandered into town.

On the verge of losing his town's quarry, a local marshal goes on an angry rampage against the men who are responsible for the fall of his town.

A widower lives a quiet life in a small southern town with his aunt and young son, implementing his wise advice in his own life and offering it to others.

A widower lives a quiet life in a small southern town with his aunt and young son, implementing his wise advice in his own life and offering it to others.

A widower lives a quiet life in a small southern town with his aunt and young son, implementing his wise advice in his own life and offering it to others.

A widower lives a quiet life in a small southern town with his aunt and young son, implementing his wise advice in his own life and offering it to others.

A widower lives a quiet life in a small southern town with his aunt and young son, implementing his wise advice in his own life and offering it to others.

A widower lives a quiet life in a small southern town with his aunt and young son, implementing his wise advice in his own life and offering it to others.

Ray tells Debra that he feels too crowded in bed and would like her to move over, but soon finds out there is not going to be a simple solution.

Ray and Debra take a trip to Vermont, trying a little too hard to please each other in the romance department, and Uncle Robert is left babysitting the kids.

Ray is upset when Debra gets a job and he has to help with housework, but when she gets fired, he helps get her job back, which displeases her.

Debra and Raymond vow to be nicer to each other when they realize that they treat complete strangers more politely than they do each other.

Raymond becomes jealous when Robert takes his wife swing dancing and they make a hobby out of it.

Robert is unable to get any time alone with his girlfriend, so he moves back in with Raymond, which fails to solve his problem.

Ally busily prepares to get ready for her very first play date with a boy, and flashbacks help to reveal how Raymond and Debra first courted each other.

Carrie gets neurotic when put in charge of a group of "misfits" at night which makes Doug lonely, but he finds that Arthur makes an acceptable replacement.

Doug and Carrie get new neighbors but make a negative impression when an argument they have can literally be heard all over the neighborhood.

Doug and Carrie bump into Father McAndrew and are shamed into attending church services, meanwhile, unbeknownst to anyone, Arthur puts the house up for sale.

Doug is asked to help coach Deacon's son's football teaml; While coaching, Deacon's son expresses to Doug that he should try out for a semi-pro team.

Carrie agrees to baby-sit her boss's son but is disgusted when the toddler is obsessed with her breasts; Spence's TiVo thinks he is gay.

Doug feels threatened of Carrie's "work-husband" and begins to spend more time with Deacon to make Carrie jealous; Arthur is jealous of a new dog.

Elaine panics when they take her favorite contraceptive brand off the market; Kramer causes a tussle at an AIDS walk when he refuses to wear a ribbon.

George and Susan's parents meet for dinner; Kramer borrows a horse-drawn carriage for the weekend; Elaine gets hot and heavy with her new man.

Kramer sues a wealthy heiress when she is inadvertently responsible for causing him to crash his car, but Jerry sours the deal when he falls for the woman.

George becomes upset when Susan's cousin names her baby with the name he planned to use for his first child; Jerry questions his girlfriend's style.

Crystal passes the time by thinking of herself negatively, leaving Roseanne and Jackie to show her that she should stop letting people walk over her.

Though Roseanne had planned the perfect birthday party for Dan at the bar, a bully ruins it by picking a fight, forcing Dan to walk away and keep a promise.

Sick and tired of seeing Dan work on his truck every Saturday, Roseanne decides to make a bet with him to see if he'll get the truck running again.

A garage sale is coming up and Dan becomes upset when he is told by Roseanne that he has to put up some of the junk that has meaning to him.