TV Guide TV Land Wednesday

Both Doug and Deacon start spending some quality time with each other's wives when they realize that they have much more in common.

Doug's attempt at romance uncovers Carrie's "work retreat" for what it really is, and Danny and Spence's plan to get into a Billy Idol concert backfires.

Doug strikes up a friendship with a driver from a rival company at the cost of his coworkers' respect, only to find that he has been lured into a trap.

Carrie is ready to put Arthur in a retirement home after he sets the basement on fire, but Doug makes a discovery that forces him to reconsider.

While buying some ice cream from the ice cream man, Doug notices a "for sale" sign and buys the truck, and in turn, gets harassed by another ice cream man.

An obsessed woman who swears that she spent a romantic weekend with Doug keeps calling the house, and Doug tries everything to get her to stop.

Elaine's hatred of the movie "The English Patient" gets her fired; Kramer hires Dominicans to roll Cuban cigars; Jerry grapples with the Mandelbaum family.

George begins napping under his desk at work; Jerry's contractor takes his sweet time installing new cabinets; Elaine's boyfriend has a back problem.

George's girlfriend is big on the phrase "yada yada", allowing her to skip over dubious social anecdotes; Jerry is irked by his dentist's religious conversion.

Kramer and Newman compete bitterly while planning their respective New Year's Eve parties; Jerry obsesses about his position on his girlfriend's speed dial.

Dan and Arnie are on the worst bowling team in the league, but when they start making progress to get out of last place, unexpected competition arises.

Bev comes to the aid of the Conners when Roseanne throws her back out and is bed-ridden, instantly becoming loved by the children as she spoils them all.

Roseanne makes a trip to the doctor after throwing her back out and brings Jackie along, realizing it was a bad decision when Jackie begins flirting with him.

Dan and Roseanne are happy to find out that Becky has broken up with Mark after an argument about his selfish ways, leaving Jackie and Roseanne to cheer her up.

With humor, optimism and special guests, host Drew Barrymore explores pop culture, human interest, lifestyle and more while celebrating every part of humanity.

With humor, optimism and special guests, host Drew Barrymore explores pop culture, human interest, lifestyle and more while celebrating every part of humanity.

Goober takes advantage of a computer dating ad and gets matched up with a well educated and intelligent Ph.D by the name of Edith Gibson.

Sam invites and encourages a close Italian friend from the war to come join him at work, but his friend also brings his father and sister along.

After getting hired at the local market, Opie decides that Billy could use the job more than he could and decides to come up with a plan to get himself fired.

Andy becomes jealous when Helen starts canceling dates to work on projects with Frank Smith, who is only there for scholastic business.

Colonel Potter contemplates retirement after learning that he could be the subject of an outside review due to reports of complaints about his leadership.

Charles thinks that he can handle using amphetamines to keep up his energy and even drugs Radar's mouse so that she will win a mouse derby.

The possibility of contaminated morphine prompts the doctors to administer placebos to the patients, and they get relief from their pain.

After being lent money from Matt and Festus, a poor farmer is conned out of it in a game of poker and is set up for the gambler's murder.

After being in prison for eight years, a farmer comes back to his home with hopes of locating the treasure he buried under a tree.

The Dodge City well is in danger of drying up during a long drought, so Festus goes on a search for other water sources while Matt locates a rainmaker.

When a stagecoach filled with gold comes under siege from a vicious gang, Doc Adams has to protect it along with a blind man and a pregnant woman.

A Scandinavian man's son ends up blackmailed and accused of murdering a man who was instigating a fight with him soon after moving to Dodge City.

The mayor of Mayberry expresses that he has absolutely no faith in Andy and Barney's efforts to catch a cattle rustler, so he hires a State Investigator

After a date with Peggy McMillan that is interrupted by one of her old "friends," Barney tries to help and Andy is faced with even more problems.

Barney's courage and confidence is shattered by produce peddlers, but with Andy's assistance he discovers the tools he needs to use his proper authority.

Mayor Stoner adopts a frugal attitude concerning the local marching band, proclaiming it is a disgrace, and refuses to fund it's trip to the state competition.

In an attempt to impress his lady pen pal, Floyd has been posing as a rich entrepreneur but encounters problems when she wishes to meet him in person.

Robert's girlfriend suggests that his reluctance to commit could be due to his sexual orientation, causing doubts for Raymond.

Ray and Debra try to blame each other when they find out that their daughter is bullying other children on the bus to and from school every day.

When Frank's regular churchgoing puts Raymond to shame, he decides to go more often, but he soon discovers Frank's true motives.

Robert gets hurt while on the job and Raymond tries to bond with his brother after feeling guilty for not spending enough time with him.

Ray is forced to pay up for a lavish ceremony after his wife discovers that he taped over their wedding with footage from the 1991 Super Bowl.

Ray's attempts to take an interest in his daughter's card-swapping hobby take a turn for the worse when he accidentally loses one of her favorites.

Debra finally cooks something that everyone seems to really enjoy consuming, and an outraged Marie feels that she must outperform Debra.

When O'Boyle checks into rehab, Doug and Deacon are asked to fill in; however, Doug thinks that he may not be right for the job once the office loses control.

Deacon changes the ending of a story, leaving him too scared to spend the weekend with the Heffermans; Arthur figures out a way to make money in carpooling.

Doug makes an appearance at a neighborhood party to which he and Carrie were not invited, and to prove that they are good people, he adopts a dog.

Doug has Deacon's son draw a stick figure of Carrie in hopes that it will make her want to purchase an enhancement that the two of them could benefit from.

After the Williamses purchase a new vacation home with all of the money they have saved up, the Heffernans accuse them of being cheap.

After Doug almost hits a chicken with his vehicle, he decides to spare the lives of other animals and become a vegetarian, making Carrie very uncomfortable.

Elaine and Lippman form a partnership to open a store that sells only muffin tops; George pretends to be a tourist to attract a beautiful tourist agent.

After receiving a severance package from the Yankees, George decides to take a few months off and initiates "The Summer of George"; Kramer wins a Tony award.

Kramer takes to using butter as a skin moisturizer until he accidentally cooks himself sunbathing; Elaine and Putty return from their journey to Europe.

Jerry must decide between keeping his girlfriend and the funny voice he created to mock her; Kramer hires an intern to help him with menial tasks.

Roseanne and Jackie take one last trip to see their childhood home and reminisce about their memories, reminding her to give Darlene a stricter punishment.

The Conners are elated when they are filmed in a television advertisement for Rodbell's Luncheonette, but when the commercial airs, the family is excluded.