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00:02
Principal Shepherd moves in to live with the Griffin family; Brian decides to sue Stewie for making him an oafish character in Stewie's book series.
00:30
The other mothers around Quahog shun Lois when Stewie's first spoken word is a swear word, which leads Lois to investigate the source of her son's foul mouth.
01:00
Stewie's relationship with Rupert is destroyed when he discovers that Chris was Rupert's previous owner, which leaves Stewie compelled to take action.
01:30
The children of South Park claim to have seen Mr. Garrison prowling around the town; the townspeople are furious that the president is frightening their kids.
02:00
Randy frantically attempts to help his wife, Sharon, get her emotions under control; Cartman unexpectedly fails a test in math class.
02:30
A special relationship between Butters and the Parish Priest develops, so when they go missing, the people of South Park seek help from the Catholic Church.
03:00
Mr. Hankey's job as the director of the annual Christmas pageant is threatened by his distasteful behavior; Strong Woman and PC Principal face new challenges.
03:30
Butters begins selling a variety of vape pens and fruity-flavored vape accessories; Randy decides to relocate his family to the country and become a farmer.
04:00
The children devise an elaborate plan to utilize the latest revolution in mobility to get as much candy as possible on the Halloween holiday.
04:30
Cartman receives an anxiety diagnosis.
05:00
The city of South Park, Colo., is selected to be the location of American electronic commerce company Amazon's newest Fulfillment Center.
05:30
After Kenny opts out of the Bike Parade, the other boys' chance of winning is threatened; the workers at the Amazon Fulfillment Center continue to strike.
06:00
Randy goes to battle against home-grown marijuana growers and must come to terms with the fact that he may be a towel; Kyle goes to camp.
06:30
Randy gets in trouble as he pursues an opportunity for Tegridy in China; Stan starts a band to vent his frustration over having to move away from South Park.
07:00
Randy celebrates Tegridy Farms' achievement; Cartman refuses to get a shot.
07:30
Cartman believes the new plant-based diet in the school cafeteria gave him a heart attack.
08:00
Randy must deal with his daughter's marijuana problem during the Halloween holiday; Butters visits an Egyptian artifact exhibit at a museum in Denver.
08:30
The citizens of South Park grow weary of Randy and Tegridy Farms and have him put in jail after he blows up his neighbors' yards to protest their homegrown.
09:00
The annual Strong Woman competition creates problems for PC Principal; the boys meet their match when some of the girls join their BOARD Gamers Club.
09:30
Cartman and the boys seek the best microbiome they can find; Kyle's mother has a fecal transplant.
10:00
Scott Malkinson is desperate to get the latest streaming platform to impress a girl, but his dad refuses to subscribe to anything other than basic cable.
10:30
Santa steals South Park's holiday season joy.
11:00
PC Principal revokes Pajama Day privileges for the fourth-grade class after the students don't show respect for their teacher, leaving Cartman very agitated.
11:30
Stan comes to the realization that he's misinterpreted some of the greatest literature in history, leaving him horrified.
12:00
When Cartman's mother gets a new job, he's discontent with the situation.
12:30
Butters must defeat his competition in the all-important dressage championship.
13:00
The boys find out the pleasures of playing Airsoft in the small mountain town of South Park, Colo., come with the challenge of dealing with teenagers.
13:30
Butters is surprised when he learns the people of South Park don't truly understand why the St. Patrick's Day holiday is observed.
14:00
New low-flow shower heads drive Jerry, Kramer and Newman to seek an illicit street vendor; Elaine tests positive for Opium before her big Africa trip.
14:30
George is terrorized by one of Susan's dolls that looks exactly like his mother; Jerry is greatly inconvenienced by Susan's old college roommate.
15:00
Chaos ensues when Jerry loses an expensive jacket during his probationary membership to a private club; Kramer tries to alter his sleeping patterns.
15:30
George fights the management of a local parking lot; Jerry returns his new jacket to spite the salesman who sold it to him; Kramer is mistaken for a pimp.
16:00
George surges upward in the Yankee organization when Steinbrenner gets hooked on Calzones; Kramer becomes addicted to drying his laundry in the oven.
16:30
Jerry and Elaine do their best to nurse the dissolution of the marriage they were both waiting out; Kramer takes to wearing really tight jeans.
17:00
Michael makes everyone uncomfortable with his public displays of affection; Jim and Pam face complications after lunch; a treasure hunt is ruined by Andy.
17:30
Michael is finally ready to unveil his action movie to his coworkers and love interest, but their reactions could create a problem.

Thursday Night TV on Comedy Central

18:00
Michael's best friend hopes to find a desk job at the office; after his computer freezes yet again, Andy battles with Pam to get a new computer.
18:30
The office decides to hold a garage sale in the warehouse; Michael goes to Oscar, Ryan, Jim and Pam for advice on how to ask Holly to marry him.
19:00
Everyone hopes to make a good impression on the new manager, but Andy finds himself typecast, and Jim and Pam worry they have come on too strong.
19:35
Michael prepares for his departure and hosts a seminar to train the new host for the Dundie Awards; Erin struggles with her dislike of her boyfriend.
20:10
Michael hopes to have a drama free day in order to say his goodbyes to his coworkers; Deangelo and Andy scramble to keep the biggest clients.
20:45
Michael hopes to have a drama free day in order to say his goodbyes to his coworkers; Deangelo and Andy scramble to keep the biggest clients.
21:20
Some coworkers feel rubbed the wrong way when substitute manager Deangelo reveals his true style and handpicks individuals for his "inner circle."
21:55
Jim serves as the head of the replacement committee and interviews Andy and Darryl; Dwight attempts to get back into the race.
22:30
Jim serves as the head of the replacement committee and interviews Andy and Darryl; Dwight attempts to get back into the race.
23:00
Contributors join the host to conduct intimate interviews and discuss current events in politics, pop culture, entertainment, sports and more.
23:35
A school bully puts Lois at the center of focus with her antics when Lois is given the position of music teacher at Chris and Meg's high school.
00:02
One of Brian's old friends tries to talk him into getting neutered; Lois defies Peter's wishes and gets a pixie cut, which makes Peter try to out-embarrass her.
00:30
Peter gets grounded by Lois for getting a secret credit card, but he forms an escape plan to make a tunnel that leads all the way to The Drunken Clam.
01:00
In the future, Stewie enjoys a life of wealth and leisure until Brian throws his retirement plans awry when he delivers news that Peter is dying.
01:30
Jealous of the friendship between Tolkien and Kyle, Cartman decides to do something about it.
02:00
The Prince of Canada and his wife arrive in South Park to find privacy and peace after being attacked by the Canadian media.
02:30
The citizens of South Park discover the wonders of Japanese toilets.
03:00
A school cheating scandal completely bewilders Stan.
03:30
The boys renovate a building and open an historic restaurant in Colorado.
04:00
Spring Break is an excuse for Garrison to jump back into his former depraved lifestyle.
04:30
When the residents of South Park face their possible demise, Jesus returns to give them an important message.
05:00
When ICE detains Randy Marsh's Hispanic workers, he's left with only Towlie on staff, and together they get creative to keep their business afloat.
05:30
Butters needs to purchase a Labubu doll for his girlfriend's birthday and learns the realities of tariffs.
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