TV Guide Comedy Central Monday

After given permission to read a controversial book at school, Stan, Cartman, Kyle and Kenny are inspired to write a contentious novel of their own.

Cartman's favorite fried chicken restaurant is closed down and replaced by a store that sells medicinal marijuana to people with a physician's reference.

Kyle accidentally becomes friends with the wrong person on Facebook, so Cartman and the boys completely desert him and leave him with no friends.

Jimmy and Timmy head off to summer camp with all their handicapable friends, where they work hard to become champions of an annual competition.

Despite his doubts about making it to the top, Cartman becomes determined to do whatever it takes to race in the NASCAR circuit, with Butters as his pit boss.

New Jersey begins to take over the country one state at a time, but when the Jerseyites seek to conquer South Park, Randy and the boys take a stand.

Stan and Mr. Mackey deal with their hoarding addictions, which allows Stan to see what it was like for Mr. Mackey in the fourth grade at South Park Elementary.

Stan gets left behind when Randy becomes overly obsessed with the Food Network, which leads Sharon to run away with a new interest of her own.

Kyle finds himself trapped as an unwilling participant in a grotesque new technological innovation developed by Apple founder Steve Jobs.

South Park Elementary's Special Education department decides to begin an annual comedy award ceremony, and Jimmy is given the opportunity to serve as host.

When the Prince of Canada decides to take a bride, baby Ike becomes obsessed with his native country's Royal Wedding along with the rest of Canada.

Cartman becomes outraged when the school reveals the penis sizes of all the children at South Park Elementary on a bulletin board.

Cleveland Jr. is kicked out of scouts when Rallo's prank goes too far; Cleveland takes control and threatens to send Rallo to juvenile detention.

Cleveland volunteers to go with Roberta on a college visit to his alma mater on Homecoming Weekend; Rallo helps Cleveland sleep without his stuffed animal.

When a girl at church catches Cleveland Jr.'s attention, he volunteers for a church trip; another member confronts Cleveland Jr. about his motives in attending.

Cleveland Jr. profiles his dad for a report on his favorite American, but when Cleveland falls off the toilet, he loses Cleveland Jr.'s respect.

When Cleveland's attempt to cheer Donna up on Mother's Day goes awry, Donna is reunited with her estranged mother and they form a new bond.

Cartman starts a new business in South Park called "The Crack Baby Athletic Association," and he invites Kyle to get in the company on the ground floor.

Butters discovers that he has been diagnosed with multiple personality disorder; a psychologist attempts to help Butters figure out what is happening to him.

Stan finds himself acting differently after celebrating his 10th birthday, but his new attitude begins to upset the rest of the boys.

After discovering that he is afflicted with Asperger's Syndrome, Cartman develops a unique way of coping with his ailment that even Kyle and Kenny accept.

After deciding to join the U.S. Border Patrol, Cartman soon begins to realize that he possesses a skill for stopping illegal aliens from entering into America.

The students of South Park Elementary learn that someone has hacked into their phones and emails and is now posting their private information online.

Randy becomes enamored with musical theatre and decides to take Sharon on a trip to New York in order to catch every show that Broadway has to offer.

The kids at South Park Elementary all gang up on Cartman after they are punished due to the fact that he has thrown off the school's physical fitness curve.

After viewing a television special on The History Channel, the boys begin to believe that extraterrestrials were involved in the original Thanksgiving feast.

When Kenny's parents are arrested and sent to jail, he and his siblings find themselves being forced to enter the foster care system.

When a catastrophe results from one of the boys forgetting to put the toilet seat down after relieving himself, a government agency is called in to fix things.

Cartman starts his own gem shopping channel and soon finds himself controlling a lucrative business that preys upon an extremely vulnerable clientele.

Leslie gets ready for a meeting with an important Pawnee political figure; Andy gets his casts removed and Ann invites the group to attend a performance.

Leslie causes community uproar after she performs a wedding ceremony for two penguins; Ann notices a change in Mark's behavior while he recovers.

Leslie and Tom have a stakeout in the hopes of learning who planted marijuana in the vegetable garden; Ann goes on a date with Mark.

Leslie is at odds with her fellow judges about who the ideal Miss Pawnee is; Ann and Mark have their second date and discover where Andy has been living.

Ann takes Leslie on a practice date to calm down; Tom, Ron, April and Mark decide to see who can uncover the worst dirt on each other.

Leslie's excitement to host representative from Pawnee's Venezuelan sister city is quickly dashed by culture shock and the disagreeable demands they make.

Jim returns after being away for jury duty and a curious Dwight will not stop questioning Jim about the case; Angela and the Senator welcome their new baby.

Dwight is assigned a special project at Sabre headquarters and must decide what other Scranton employees to take with him; Pam returns from her maternity leave.

As soon as Dwight and his team from Dunder Mufflin arrive in Tallahassee, Dwight competes with his co-workers to get noticed by the special projects president.

Dwight and Packer compete to become Nellie's vice president, and Jim receives an unwelcome visitor in his room; Andy forces everyone to stay after hours.

While the teams in Tallahassee are readying the new Sabre Store for its opening, Dwight decides to prepare a very theatrical presentation to impress Nellie.

When Jim finds out that Robert hates Nellie's business plan, he tries to keep Robert from firing Dwight; Andy learns that Erin isn't returning to Scranton.

Andy plans a life-changing trip across the country to get Erin back; Nellie arrives in Scranton to lay claim to the manager position left open in Andy's wake.

When Robert decides that he wants the office to host a welcome party for Nellie, the party planners decide to try to sabotage it from the beginning.

Andy is surprised to find Nellie has claimed his spot as manager; Kelly is torn between someone who appears to be the perfect man and the far-from-perfect Ryan.

Andy accidently adopts 12 disabled dogs; Dwight learns the hard way that winning an auction means giving up money; Darryl teaches Nellie how to eat a taco.

Jim and Dwight decide to join forces to outsmart a salesman from Scranton's sister city after Robert shuts down a nearby branch in a drunken fit.

Lois cooks a huge Thanksgiving meal and invites the whole troop over; Joe receives a shock when his formerly M.I.A. son, Kevin Swanson, returns from Iraq.

Peter and Brian get drunk the night before Thanksgiving and decide to eat the entire bird, so they must hurry to find a replacement before Thanksgiving dinner.

Peter purposefully gets arrested to avoid Thanksgiving with Lois' side of the family; a secret Stewie holds dear to himself is brought to the light.

Two new bosses are brought into the Pawtucket Brewery team and they are immediately determined to use another mascot for the company.

After Mayor West's Christmas nativity scene is destroyed, Brian quickly becomes the primary suspect in the following investigation.

The human race finds itself in an unexpected situation when all of mankind begins evolving at an increasingly rapid and disturbing pace.

Stan decides to raise awareness about the national epidemic of bullying by shooting a big dance video; Butters becomes the victim of an unlikely bully.

The boys run into trouble in the Colorado Mountains and find themselves attempting to survive all alone in the wild while waiting for someone to rescue them.

When Cartman begins to experience romantic feelings for a new girl at school, he decides to make a gesture in order to keep anyone from getting between them.

Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman become involved in a crisis at South Park Elementary when excessive football concussions become a serious problem.

Cartman finally admits that he is fat, but only so that he can claim riding around on a scooter as his right; later, he learns of his new rival, Honey Boo Boo.

The entire town becomes suspicious when Kyle believes that his mother is having an affair with the UPS man; Cartman signs up for a home security system.

After Butters starts causing trouble at school and his parents tell him a secret about his heritage, he travels to Hawaii to learn the customs of his people.

Randy has big plans for the night of Halloween, and unfortunately, those plans make it so that Stan can't go trick or treating with his friends.