Cozi TV TV Guide — Today's TV Listings & Schedule

Browse the full Cozi TV TV guide for today. 40 programmes listed , including 12 tonight. US listings updated daily — scroll down to tonight's highlights or use the day tabs above to browse the weekly schedule.

Early Morning

02:00 30m

Roseanne

S3 · E20 · Her Boyfriend's Back Comedy

Her Boyfriend's Back

Becky becomes frustrated that her parents are unable to afford the car that she wants for herself and decides to take Dan's motorcycle out for a spin.

02:30 30m

Roseanne

S3 · E21 · Troubles with the Rubbles Comedy

Troubles with the Rubbles

The Connors welcome a new next-door neighbor but the mother instantly dislikes Roseanne and looks down on her because of their living situation.

03:00 30m

The Nanny

S2 · E7 · A Star Is Unborn Comedy

A Star Is Unborn

An amateur director hires Fran to play the lead role in his Broadway play, but Maxwell learns that the director actually wants the production to fail.

03:30 30m

The Nanny

S2 · E8 · Pinske Business Comedy

Pinske Business

Maxwell asks Fran to pretend to be C.C. in order to receive funding from an investor that C.C. assaulted in order to get a taxi cab.

04:00 30m

The Nanny

S2 · E9 · Stock Tip Comedy

Stock Tip

Fran begins dating a man who tells her he works on Wall Street and convinces Maxwell to put a considerable amount of money into the stock market.

04:30 30m

The Nanny

S2 · E10 · The Whine Cellar Comedy

The Whine Cellar

Fran throws a surprise birthday party for her mother at the Sheffield house; C.C. and Fran accidentally lock themselves in the wine cellar.

05:00 30m

Bob Hearts Abishola

Comedy

A middle-aged businessman develops a romantic interest in his cardiac nurse while he recovers from a heart attack and becomes determined to earn her affections.

05:30 30m

Bob Hearts Abishola

Comedy

A middle-aged businessman develops a romantic interest in his cardiac nurse while he recovers from a heart attack and becomes determined to earn her affections.

Morning

07:00 1h

Highway to Heaven

S1 · E4 · The Return of the Masked Rider Drama

The Return of the Masked Rider

Jonathan and Mark get jobs working in a local area boxing ring and the owner's grandson has a good opportunity at winning the local championship fight.

08:00 1h

Highway to Heaven

S1 · E5 · Song of the Wild West Drama

Song of the Wild West

The guys' newest task is to reunite a broken family after Evelyn Higgins left her husband Tim and baby daughter Sarah to explore a career in music.

09:00 30m

Malcolm & Eddie

S2 · E3 · Casino Evil Comedy

Casino Evil

A nearby rival bar is taking their customers, so Malcolm decides to turn his business into a gambling venue to save himself from bankruptcy.

09:30 30m

Malcolm & Eddie

S2 · E4 · Sibling Rivalry Comedy

Sibling Rivalry

A new waitress is attracting a great deal of attention as Malcolm, his sister and Eddie all try to win the young woman's affection.

10:00 30m

The Steve Harvey Show

S3 · E6 · What You Won't Cue for Love Comedy

What You Won't Cue for Love

Lovita and Regina take on Steve and Cedric in a pool tournament, and Romeo and Bullethead fake a Bubble-boy in order to win concert tickets.

10:30 30m

The Steve Harvey Show

S3 · E8 · Rent Comedy

Rent

Steve's girlfriend, who has a job processing tax returns for the IRS, surprisingly discovers that Cedric is guilty of committing tax fraud.

11:00 30m

Hangin' with Mr. Cooper

S4 · E9 · R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Comedy

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Mark invites a couple of his friends to move in to replace Geneva, but the inconsiderate new housemates soon drive Vanessa away as well.

11:30 30m

Hangin' with Mr. Cooper

S4 · E10 · The Great Pretender Comedy

The Great Pretender

Mark uses a fake shoulder injury to get a sympathy date from his attractive new neighbor; Nicole refuses to give up her hip-hop wardrobe.

Daytime

12:00 30m

The Nanny

S4 · E3 · The Bird's Nest Comedy

The Bird's Nest

Maxwell threatens to send Brighton to military school if he fails science class; Sylvia develops a mysterious rash that Fran attributes to food poisoning.

12:30 30m

The Nanny

S4 · E4 · The Rosie Show Comedy

The Rosie Show

Fran is invited to become a regular panelist on "The Rosie O'Donnell Show," where she is responsible for answering viewer inquiries on child rearing.

13:00 30m

Roseanne

S10 · E3 · Roseanne Gets the Chair Comedy

Roseanne Gets the Chair

Roseanne argues with Darlene over how she raises her children; Dan attempts to help Roseanne with her hurt knee by purchasing an elevator chair.

13:30 30m

Roseanne

S10 · E3 · Eggs Over, Not Easy Comedy

Eggs Over, Not Easy

Becky's surrogacy plan is tested; when an animal rescue organization rejects Jackie's application to adopt a puppy, Roseanne steps in to help out.

14:00 30m

Roseanne

S10 · E4 · Darlene v. David Comedy

Darlene v. David

David makes an unexpected appearance for Harris' birthday; Bev temporarily moves into the Conner household after something happens at the nursing home.

14:30 30m

Roseanne

S10 · E5 · No Country for Old Women Comedy

No Country for Old Women

Roseanne and Jackie fight to decide who will take care of their mother; Mark's unique way of building a birdhouse for Dan's customer is too much for Dan.

15:00 30m

George Lopez

S3 · E15 · God Needles George Comedy

God Needles George

The Lopez family contemplates putting Needles to sleep when they learn that he has a tumor; George and Max make extravagant promises while praying for the dog.

15:30 30m

George Lopez

S3 · E16 · Benny and Randy Comedy

Benny and Randy

Randy wants to take his relationship with Benny to the next level, but she balks at the idea; George inadvertently prompts Randy to break up with her.

16:00 30m

George Lopez

S3 · E17 · Weekend at Benny's Comedy

Weekend at Benny's

George is left in charge of the kids when Angie is away on business; when Carmen and Max misbehave, George sends them to Benny's house for the weekend.

16:30 30m

George Lopez

S3 · E18 · Jason Tutors Max Comedy

Jason Tutors Max

Max must pass an upcoming state-mandated test, leaving George and Angie to search for a suitable tutor; Jason volunteers to be Max's tutor.

17:00 30m

Married ... with Children

S8 · E12 · A Little off the Top Comedy

A Little off the Top

When a rookie surgeon misinterprets the doctor's instructions prior to a medical procedure, Al mistakenly receives a circumcision.

17:30 30m

Married ... with Children

S8 · E13 · The Worst Noel Comedy

The Worst Noel

Kelly and Bud try to sneak a jukebox, their Christmas present for Al and Peggy, into the house on Christmas Eve while Al and Peggy argue over channel surfing.

Tonight's Highlights

18:00 30m

Married ... with Children

S8 · E15 · Honey, I Blew up Myself Comedy

Honey, I Blew up Myself

Al finds himself getting increasingly annoyed by a larger-than-life billboard bearing a picture of Peggy which has been placed by his shoestore in the mall.

18:30 30m

Married ... with Children

S8 · E14 · Sofa So Good Comedy

Sofa So Good

When Kelly's boyfriend ruins Peggy's beloved couch while the parents are away at a reunion, Bud and Kelly rush to find a replacement.

19:00 30m

Married ... with Children

S8 · E16 · How Green Was My Apple Comedy

How Green Was My Apple

Possession of an apple tree sparks a feud between the Bundys and the D'Arcys that escalates into all-out war after Peggy misses her beloved Oprah.

19:30 30m

Married ... with Children

S8 · E18 · Get Outta Dodge Comedy

Get Outta Dodge

While Al lets a crew film his old Dodge crossing the one million mile mark in exchange for a new Viper, Kelly struggles to locate the ever-elusive Waldo.

20:00 30m

The King of Queens

S5 · E18 · Steve Moscow Comedy

Steve Moscow

Carrie and Doug hire Russian workers to repair their home but the workers need constant coaxing to get things done, so they use vodka to inspire them.

20:30 30m

The King of Queens

S5 · E15 · Animal Attraction Comedy

Animal Attraction

Doug and Deacon are stuck delivering Penguins on Valentine's Day so Carrie decides to take Holly out, meanwhile Spence dates a woman his grandmother's age.

21:00 30m

The King of Queens

S5 · E14 · Prints Charming Comedy

Prints Charming

Doug and Carrie feel their lives are lacking when they accidentally pick up another couples photos, so they emulate what they view in the photos.

21:30 30m

The King of Queens

S5 · E19 · Cowardly Lyin' Comedy

Cowardly Lyin'

Doug confesses to Carrie that he frequently lies or simply keeps the truth from her in order save himself from her infamous wrath.

22:00 30m

Two and a Half Men

S7 · E11 · Warning, It's Dirty Comedy ▶ Now

Warning, It's Dirty

When Jake's girlfriend goes out of town for the holidays, Charlie encourages him to hook up with an attractive girl he met at the beach, but Alan disagrees.

22:30 30m

Two and a Half Men

S7 · E12 · Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste Comedy

Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

Jake attempts to woo his ex-girlfriend by writing her a love song; Alan and Herb try to keep their friendship hidden from Judith, knowing she wouldn't approve.

23:00 30m

Two and a Half Men

S7 · E13 · Yay, No Polyps! Comedy

Yay, No Polyps!

Charlie goes through a colonoscopy to avoid seeing Chelsea's bigoted parents, but he finds them in his home when he returns from the doctor's office.

23:30 30m

Two and a Half Men

S7 · E14 · Crude and Uncalled For Comedy

Crude and Uncalled For

Alan ends up in jail after being involved in a bar fight, and Charlie becomes worried that Chelsea might be interested in the lawyer who takes the case.