Cozi TV TV Guide — Today's TV Listings & Schedule

Browse the full Cozi TV TV guide for today. 44 programmes listed , including 12 tonight. US listings updated daily — scroll down to tonight's highlights or use the day tabs above to browse the weekly schedule.

Early Morning

00:00 30m

George Lopez

S3 · E1 · Dubya, Dad and Dating, Part 1 Comedy

Dubya, Dad and Dating, Part 1

George gets so caught up preparing the company for a visit from the President of the United States that he unwittingly commits a crime.

00:30 30m

George Lopez

S3 · E2 · Dubya, Dad and Dating, Part 2 Comedy

Dubya, Dad and Dating, Part 2

George decides to invite his father to have dinner with him and his family; Benny gets upset at George for allowing Manny back into their lives.

01:00 30m

George Lopez

S3 · E3 · The Cuban Missus Crisis Comedy

The Cuban Missus Crisis

George discovers that Angie's parents are getting a divorce, which prompts him to begin to worry about his own marriage and whether his wife might leave him.

01:30 30m

George Lopez

S3 · E4 · Feel the Burn Comedy

Feel the Burn

George must take Benny to the doctor for a personal problem; George discovers that he has a sister that Benny gave away at birth, and he sets out to locate her.

02:00 30m

Roseanne

S2 · E22 · April Fool's Day Comedy

April Fool's Day

With Tax Day swiftly approaching, Dan starts to crack under the pressure, and a trip to the IRS doesn't make things any easier for him.

02:30 30m

Roseanne

S2 · E23 · Fathers and Daughters Comedy

Fathers and Daughters

Roseanne attempts to forge a closer bond with Darlene by watching basketball with her while Dan tries to do the same with Becky by going shopping with her.

03:00 30m

The Nanny

S5 · E19 · Immaculate Conception Comedy

Immaculate Conception

Maxwell's father dies and leaves his entire estate to an illegitimate sibling that Maxwell never knew he had; C.C. returns from her stay in the sanitarium.

03:30 30m

The Nanny

S5 · E20 · The Pre-Nup Comedy

The Pre-Nup

Maxwell's lawyers convince him to ask Fran to sign a prenuptial agreement but she refuses to do so; C.C. hires a temporary replacement for herself.

04:00 30m

The Nanny

S5 · E21 · The Best Man Comedy

The Best Man

Maxwell's brother Nigel arrives in town to throw Maxwell a bachelor party, at which he reveals his short-lived romance with his brother's betrothed.

04:30 30m

The Nanny

S5 · E22 · The Wedding, Part 1 Comedy

The Wedding, Part 1

Fran moves in with Sylvia in order to keep Maxwell from seeing her before the wedding; Fran, Sylvia and Val get stranded when Val's car gets a flat tire.

05:00 30m

Bob Hearts Abishola

Comedy

A middle-aged businessman develops a romantic interest in his cardiac nurse while he recovers from a heart attack and becomes determined to earn her affections.

05:30 30m

Bob Hearts Abishola

Comedy

A middle-aged businessman develops a romantic interest in his cardiac nurse while he recovers from a heart attack and becomes determined to earn her affections.

Morning

07:00 1h

Highway to Heaven

S3 · E24 · Ghost Rider Drama

Ghost Rider

A well-known, mystery writer get the chance of a lifetime to interact with the deceased hero that has inspired many of her literary works.

08:00 1h

Highway to Heaven

S3 · E25 · The Gift of Life Drama

The Gift of Life

Jonathan and Mark's latest assignment is R.R. Benson, a cold and heartless businessman who is selfishly polluting the oceans for profit.

09:00 30m

Malcolm & Eddie

S4 · E21 · Mid-Wife Crisis Comedy

Mid-Wife Crisis

A confident new Dexter visits Malcolm and Eddie, along with his pregnant wife who goes into labor just as a fire breaks out in the guys' living room.

09:30 30m

Malcolm & Eddie

S4 · E22 · Three of Club Comedy

Three of Club

After the success of Malcolm and Eddie's club forces a rival to close their own venue, the guys' place suffers severe damages, threatening the business.

10:00 30m

The Steve Harvey Show

S1 · E21 · Can't Buy Me Love Comedy

Can't Buy Me Love

Steve gives a birthday gift to Regina on her birthday to show her he cares about her, but Regina also receives an expensive gift from another admirer.

10:30 30m

The Steve Harvey Show

S2 · E1 · Whatever You Want Comedy

Whatever You Want

As Steve's insensitivity greatly upsets Regina, Romeo and Bullethead battle over a beautiful classmate; Romeo falls for a friend after she loses weight.

11:00 30m

Hangin' with Mr. Cooper

S3 · E3 · Between Friends Comedy

Between Friends

Mark gets into a fight over a girl with one of his old friends; Vanessa continues her search for employment.

11:30 30m

Hangin' with Mr. Cooper

S3 · E4 · He Said, She Said Comedy

He Said, She Said

Vanessa fears that she is about to lose another friend at the office when Mark expresses an interest in dating her; Geneva has a conflict with a video store.

Daytime

12:00 30m

The Nanny

S3 · E1 · The Pen Pal Comedy

The Pen Pal

Fran's pen pal asks to meet her in person after years of correspondence, which makes Fran anxious due to the amount of exaggeration contained in her letters.

12:30 30m

The Nanny

S3 · E2 · Franny and the Professor Comedy

Franny and the Professor

C.C. and her equally mean brother conspire to have fun at Fran's expense by having her compete against intellectuals on a popular game show.

13:00 30m

Roseanne

S7 · E22 · Happy Trailers Comedy

Happy Trailers

Becky and Mark move into a trailer but refuse to take money from the Conners; Dan and Roseanne learn they need money to finance the baby's arrival.

13:30 30m

Roseanne

S7 · E23 · The Blaming of the Shrew Comedy ▶ Now

The Blaming of the Shrew

When a bossy vixen starts pushing D.J. around, Dan finally decides to put his foot down; Fred and Jackie visit a therapist to save their marriage.

14:00 30m

Roseanne

S7 · E24 · The Birds and the Frozen Bees Comedy

The Birds and the Frozen Bees

Roseanne thinks David's interests are being diverted from Darlene by another girl and moves to offer her daughter advice to prevent him from straying.

14:30 30m

Roseanne

S7 · E25 · Couch Potatoes Comedy

Couch Potatoes

Family habits must change after the Conners are selected as a Nielsen family, prompting Roseanne to control everyone's television-watching preferences.

15:00 30m

George Lopez

S6 · E5 · Sabes Gay, It's George's Fantasy Episode Comedy

Sabes Gay, It's George's Fantasy Episode

George tries to drown his sorrows at the bar, but when he takes a shot with a worm in it, he has a vision in which he and Ernie are gay lovers set to wed.

15:30 30m

George Lopez

S6 · E6 · George Thinks Vic's Fiancée is Lion About Being a Cheetah Comedy

George Thinks Vic's Fiancée is Lion About Being a Cheetah

George turns to the host of a popular reality TV game show for help when he suspects that Vic's fiancée is an unfaithful gold-digger.

16:00 30m

George Lopez

S6 · E7 · George Helps Angie's Wha-Positive Self Image by Saying, "You'sta Loca Good" Comedy

George Helps Angie's Wha-Positive Self Image by Saying, "You'sta Loca Good"

George asks his niece to go a little more conservative with her looks when Angie begins to fear that advancing age is taking its toll on her appearance.

16:30 30m

George Lopez

S6 · E8 · George's Grave Mistake Sends Him to a Funeral, Holmes Comedy

George's Grave Mistake Sends Him to a Funeral, Holmes

The grief that comes with the passing of Angie's mother is compounded when George realizes that he neglected to reserve a gravesite for her.

17:00 30m

Married ... with Children

S5 · E5 · The Dance Show Comedy

The Dance Show

Al learns that Peggy may be trying to steal someone else's husband during her nights of ballroom dancing at the dance hall with Marcy.

17:30 30m

Married ... with Children

S5 · E6 · Kelly Bounces Back Comedy

Kelly Bounces Back

Kelly is presented with the opportunity to participate in auditions for a position that involves being the spokesperson for the new Allante car.

Tonight's Highlights

18:00 30m

Married ... with Children

S5 · E7 · Married ... with Aliens Comedy

Married ... with Aliens

After Al suffers from a bump on the head, he believes he sees a group of small green aliens enter his room to steal his socks for rocket fuel.

18:30 30m

Married ... with Children

S5 · E8 · Wabbit Season Comedy

Wabbit Season

Al's long-time dream of having an outstanding and large vegetable garden is ruined by a rabbit's immediate interest in the fresh vegetables.

19:00 30m

Married ... with Children

S5 · E9 · Do Ya Think I'm Sexy Comedy

Do Ya Think I'm Sexy

After Al is seen moving a very heavy and very large couch by a group of neighborhood women, he becomes known as the resident stud.

19:30 30m

Married ... with Children

S5 · E10 · One Down, Two To Go Comedy

One Down, Two To Go

Kelly grows tired of Al's habitual attacks on her boyfriends and decides to abandon the Bundy household for greener pastures, which causes a change in Peg.

20:00 30m

The King of Queens

S3 · E9 · Twisted Sitters Comedy

Twisted Sitters

Doug and Carrie offer to baby-sit Deacon and Kelly's kids, but when one of the kids sees them having sex, they panic that the kid will tattle on them.

20:30 30m

The King of Queens

S3 · E11 · Better Camera Comedy

Better Camera

Both Doug and Carrie's boss buy her a camera for Christmas, so Doug suggests that the not used camera should be re-gifted and given to Kelly.

21:00 30m

The King of Queens

S3 · E12 · Wedding Presence Comedy

Wedding Presence

When the Heffernan's and the Palmer's are invited to an out of town wedding, Doug and Carrie will do almost anything to avoid attending.

21:30 30m

The King of Queens

S3 · E18 · Papa Pill Comedy

Papa Pill

Carrie enrolls Arthur in Theme Dances at the senior center but after two nights, Arthur swears hell's wrath would be better and begs Doug not to make him go.

22:00 30m

Two and a Half Men

S4 · E21 · Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous Comedy

Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous

When Alan befriends a homosexual man named Greg, he and Charlie begin to wonder about their own sexuality; meanwhile, Jake falls for Greg's daughter.

22:30 30m

Two and a Half Men

S4 · E22 · Mr. McGlue's Feedbag Comedy

Mr. McGlue's Feedbag

Alan goes to the DMV and gets conned by an attractive woman; Charlie neglects his responsibility to help Jake with school work by taking him to the race track.

23:00 30m

Two and a Half Men

S4 · E23 · Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin' Comedy

Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'

Charlie hires a handyman, but regrets his decision when the striking young man begins attracting the attention of jealous Charlie's female guests.

23:30 30m

Two and a Half Men

S5 · E1 · Large Birds, Spiders and Mom Comedy

Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Charlie and Alan try to prepare Jake for his very first day of junior high, but their help may take the experience from exciting to traumatizing.