Cozi TV TV Guide — Today's TV Listings & Schedule

Browse the full Cozi TV TV guide for today. 45 programmes listed , including 12 tonight. US listings updated daily — scroll down to tonight's highlights or use the day tabs above to browse the weekly schedule.

Early Morning

00:00 30m

Two and a Half Men

S8 · E5 · The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel Comedy

The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel

Hoping to pick up more ladies, Alan goes out on the town pretending to be Charlie, in the meantime Charlie sneaks off for some cosmetic surgery.
00:30 30m

Two and a Half Men

S8 · E6 · Twanging Your Magic Clanger Comedy

Twanging Your Magic Clanger

Charlie decides to branch out of his normal dating style, but is having trouble adjusting to dating a woman slightly older than him.
01:00 30m

George Lopez

S2 · E1 · Who's Your Daddy? Comedy

Who's Your Daddy?

George learns from a distant aunt that his mother lied to him about the death of his father, and he sets out on a mission to find the man.
01:30 30m

George Lopez

S2 · E2 · Token of Unappreciation Comedy

Token of Unappreciation

George considers joining a rival company when he begins to feel unappreciated by his bosses; the popular girls at Carmen's school want her to join their ranks.
02:00 30m

The Jeff Foxworthy Show

S2 · E23 · Twister of Fate Comedy

Twister of Fate

In the preparation for a tornado, Jeff and Karen start to wonder who would look over the kids if something ever happened to them.
02:30 30m

The Jeff Foxworthy Show

S2 · E22 · Field of Schemes Comedy

Field of Schemes

A baseball game takes place between the packing company and the lumber company.
03:00 30m

The Jeff Foxworthy Show

S1 · E1 · Jeff's Life 101 Comedy

Jeff's Life 101

Jeff thinks that he has paid back part of his debt to his father-in-law but learns differently when he needs money for his gifted son's tuition.
03:30 30m

The Jeff Foxworthy Show

S1 · E2 · A Non-Affair to Remember Comedy

A Non-Affair to Remember

Jeff feels guilty when one of Karen's co-workers flirts with him; Walt torments Russ when he gets stuck in a vent.
04:00 30m

Bob Hearts Abishola

S5 · E7 · Worth the Cooties Comedy

Worth the Cooties

Abishola and Dottie get kicked out after joking about Christina's preparations; Bob, Goodwin and Kofo deal with a difficult work issue over lunch.
04:30 30m

Bob Hearts Abishola

S5 · E8 · My Michelle Obama Comedy

My Michelle Obama

Olu worries about losing her place when Ebun decides to become the new matriarch, forcing Bob and Abishola to pick sides.
05:00 1h

Murdoch Mysteries

S16 · E20 · Just Desserts Drama

Just Desserts

Ogden's woes continue as he's implicated in the warden's murder; Murdoch looks into the death of a new fraternity pledge.

Morning

07:00 30m

The Nanny

S2 · E19 · A Fine Friendship Comedy

A Fine Friendship

Fran strikes up a platonic friendship with the male nanny of one of Grace's friends, but problems arise when Fran's new friend makes a move on her.
07:30 30m

The Nanny

S2 · E20 · Lamb Chop's on the Menu Comedy

Lamb Chop's on the Menu

C.C. attempts to venture into feature films by securing the rights to make a film about puppeteer Shari Lewis and her puppet Lamb Chop.
08:00 30m

The Nanny

S2 · E21 · Close Shave Comedy

Close Shave

Fran agrees to cover for Maggie as a candy striper at the hospital, but she is mistaken for a nurse and is ordered to shave Maxwell before his appendectomy.
08:30 30m

The Nanny

S2 · E22 · What the Butler Sang Comedy

What the Butler Sang

Fran discovers that Niles has an excellent singing voice and succeeds in convincing him to audition for a part in Maxwell's new musical.
09:00 30m

Married ... with Children

S8 · E24 · Assault and Batteries Comedy

Assault and Batteries

While Al becomes preoccupied with the process of changing batteries, he gets locked inside a store; Bud and Kelly celebrate the dog's birthday.
09:30 30m

Married ... with Children

S8 · E22 · Ride Scare Comedy

Ride Scare

Al and the three beautiful models included in his carpool are asked to promote a Chicago clean up campaign to reduce the city's litter.
10:00 30m

Married ... with Children

S8 · E25 · Al Goes Deep Comedy

Al Goes Deep

Al and Jefferson place bets on a football game before they are informed that the "star" of the football team has been dating Kelly.
10:30 30m

Married ... with Children

S9 · E1 · Shoeway to Heaven Comedy

Shoeway to Heaven

Al and Jefferson find a box of old shoes and decide to change the store to a 70's theme; Kelly consumes truth serum, forcing her to speak only the truth.
11:00 30m

The King of Queens

S2 · E23 · Restaurant Row Comedy

Restaurant Row

Carrie has a dispute with the staff at a new Italian restaurant and bans Doug from returning, but Doug cannot resist their food and violates the ban.
11:30 30m

The King of Queens

S2 · E25 · The Whine Country Comedy

The Whine Country

Unable to decide where to go on vacation, Carrie loses on Paris and Doug wins to go cross-country in a motor home; Carrie fires back by inviting Arthur along.

Daytime

12:00 30m

Roseanne

S7 · E9 · White Men Can't Kiss Comedy

White Men Can't Kiss

Roseanne has loved putting together the costume for D.J. in his upcoming school play, but she has to figure out why he quit the part when he comes home.
12:30 30m

Roseanne

S7 · E11 · Maybe Baby Comedy

Maybe Baby

Roseanne is receiving opinions from everyone as she waits for the results from her amniocentesis, and a mistake in the test leaves the family elated.
13:00 30m

Roseanne

S7 · E13 · Rear Window Comedy

Rear Window

Roseanne and Dan learn that their elderly neighbors are also avid nudists; Mark and Darlene team up to pry David and Becky apart.
13:30 30m

Roseanne

S7 · E14 · My Name Is Bev Comedy

My Name Is Bev

Beverly is arrested for drinking and driving and is obligated to attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings; Roseanne forbids drinking while Beverly is in the house.
14:00 30m

Roseanne

S7 · E15 · Bed and Bored Comedy

Bed and Bored

Jackie accuses Bev of being a rotten mother; Roseanne feigns illness in order to get some rest, but has to strike a deal with David when he learns the truth.
14:30 30m

Roseanne

S7 · E16 · Sisters Comedy

Sisters

Fights fester between siblings when Jackie complains about D.J.'s annoying visits; Darlene is lured home for Roseanne's birthday.
15:00 30m

George Lopez

S3 · E5 · Carmen's Dating Comedy

Carmen's Dating

When George discovers that Carmen's new popular boyfriend refuses to be seen with her in public, he decides to confront the boy himself.
15:30 30m

George Lopez

S3 · E6 · Split Decision Comedy

Split Decision

George fears for his job after he lets a big secret slip at a company party, but a corporate realignment soon leaves him in another difficult situation.
16:00 30m

George Lopez

S3 · E7 · No One Gets Out Alive Comedy

No One Gets Out Alive

A safety board shuts down George's plant while they inspect the company's landing gear; the Lopez family turns their home into a haunted house.
16:30 30m

George Lopez

S3 · E8 · Bringing Home the Bacon Comedy

Bringing Home the Bacon

George is unemployed while his plant is investigated, and he wants to cancel Carmen's expensive 15th birthday party because the family needs to save money.
17:00 30m

Married ... with Children

S5 · E18 · Weenie Tot Lovers & Other Strangers Comedy

Weenie Tot Lovers & Other Strangers

Al has to choose whether to spend his money on Bud's visit to the White House or to pay for Kelly to enter a Miss Weenie Tot contest.
17:30 30m

Married ... with Children

S5 · E19 · Kids! Wadaya Gonna Do? Comedy

Kids! Wadaya Gonna Do?

Al and Peggy take over Marcy's house when they go to watch a movie there; Bud takes a girl to a concert; Kelly baby-sits horrible children.

Tonight's Highlights

18:00 30m

Married ... with Children

S5 · E20 · Top of the Heap Comedy

Top of the Heap

Charlie wants Vinnie to marry into a wealthy family so he will have a better life, so the two go to a formal fund raiser to meet wealthy women.
18:30 30m

Married ... with Children

S5 · E21 · You Better Shop Around, Part 1 Comedy ▶ Now

You Better Shop Around, Part 1

The Bundys are forced to move into a supermarket after Al's new air conditioner causes a massive blackout in the whole neighborhood.
19:00 30m

Married ... with Children

S5 · E22 · You Better Shop Around, Part 2 Comedy

You Better Shop Around, Part 2

Both the Bundy family and the D'Arcys compete to see who can spend the $1,000 shopping spree first, while Kelly and Bud annoy the judge.
19:30 30m

Married ... with Children

S5 · E23 · Route 666, Part 1 Comedy

Route 666, Part 1

The Bundy's automobile unexpectedly breaks down while they are in New Mexico and they are forced to call Marcy and Jefferson for help.
20:00 30m

The King of Queens

S2 · E24 · Flower Power Comedy

Flower Power

Carrie feels jealous when a coworker gets flowers and accuses Doug of not being romantic so Doug overwhelms her with romantic gestures at work.
20:30 30m

The King of Queens

S3 · E3 · Fatty McButterpants Comedy

Fatty McButterpants

Doug becomes outraged when he finds out Carrie has been buying his clothes at the "Big and Tall" shop, but soon realizes he may have a problem with his weight.
21:00 30m

The King of Queens

S3 · E2 · Roast Chicken Comedy

Roast Chicken

Carrie forces Doug to give a card to his boss for twenty years of service and Doug's boss is so impressed that he wants Doug to roast him at a banquet.
21:30 30m

The King of Queens

S3 · E1 · Do Rico Comedy

Do Rico

Carrie gets turned on when Doug imitates the accent of the sexy foreign guy at work, then Doug becomes jealous and thinks plain old Doug doesn't do it for her.
22:00 30m

Two and a Half Men

S11 · E19 · Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang Comedy

Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang

Walden reconnects with Kate but also begins to feel a deep attachment to another woman he meets; Alan and Gretchen grow closer to one another.
22:30 30m

Two and a Half Men

S11 · E20 · Lotta Delis in Little Armenia Comedy

Lotta Delis in Little Armenia

Alan discovers an opportunity that could help him make some extra money; Walden is forced to come to terms with his co-dependency issues.
23:00 30m

Two and a Half Men

S11 · E21 · Dial 1-900-MIX-A-LOT Comedy

Dial 1-900-MIX-A-LOT

Gretchen encourages Alan to finally come clean to Larry about his true identity; Walden brings Jenny and Barry with him on a road trip to see his first car.
23:30 30m

Two and a Half Men

S11 · E22 · Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead Comedy

Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead

Alan finally decides to confess his true identity to Larry, who has been more than happy to bless his sister's engagement and wedding to Alan.

Early Morning

Morning

Daytime

Roseanne

Roseanne

Roseanne

Roseanne

Roseanne

Roseanne

Tonight's Highlights